my happiness, my anger, my depression - my life

nuthing lasts forever

2007-02-01T14:57:00.000+08:00

singapore vs thailand yesterday

was fun

but i malas nak type

more updates in e other place i keep my entries

if u noe where, good

if u dun, den too bad

thanx to blogspot for serving me well

i will be back here i promise

but e time isnt now

take care peeps

Assalamualaikum............

p.s. - i love Khairina Adrienne *muacks muacks muacks!!!

i'm ranting. dun read.

2007-01-28T02:22:00.000+08:00

put aside e argument ah. put aside e fact tt u purposely wanted to spoil my plans. n put aside me showing my blackest face i've ever had in quite a while. plus put aside e fact tt i didnt touch e food at all.

do u have any idea wat u said?? lemme refresh ur memory.
"dulu kita cakap jgn kahwin, nak kahwin jugak. can dah jadi macam gini".

u SAID tt. u DID it noeing tt i could hear frm e backseat. now answer me! who agreed to e marriage? who faced khairil's side n decided on e date?? who got all excited n paid for everything like money grew on trees???

everything i do is WRONG to u. my fone got fucking stolen n u tink i'm e problem. i'm still upset abt tt, n u smacked me wif ur attitudes n words 2day. dun u tink b4 u speak? dun u noe how ur words can affect others??

n even if memang it's my fault, y MUST u mention it? EVERYTIME SINGLE FREAKING TIME?!
1. i'm late for school. bcos i cant manage on my own. bcos i'm getting a divorce.
2. my house berserak. bcos i cant manage on my own. bcos i'm getting a divorce.
3. i got sick. bcos i never took care of myself. bcos i'm getting a divorce. (i got sick n sumhow it links to my failure in marriage!!!)
4. my fone got stolen. bcos i was careless. n thus it's my fault.
5. YOU spoilt my plans. u said i've never listened to u. bcos i still got married even though u told me not to. (dis is a lie, n u noe it!)

see wat i mean, at every mistake i do, u mention it. u tink it's my choice eh? u tink i main2 wanna let go of sumone i spent 6 yrs wif?? u tink i suka2 nak my 1 n only child grow up wifout a father?? u tink i planned all these - getting married, him cheating on me, us deciding on divorce - so tt i CAN hear ur nags 24/7???

i'm hurt. YOU hurt my feelings. e BOTH of u.

how could u? wen ur e ones who are supposed to b giving me e most strength??

rated r(a). who cares abt my language.

2007-01-27T01:59:00.000+08:00

my fone got fucking stolen at metro causeway pt.

dis adds yet another problem to my NEVERENDING list of problems.

i would love to say tt God hates me. but of course He doesnt. so i cant.

i dun wanna talk abt it anymore. if u wanna noe wat happened, go read my police report.

eh BODOH, i pray tt u DIE a thousand deaths. b.a.b.i. betul ah kau. i'm sure ur now enjoying e money u got by selling off my fone. pegi mampos ah c.i.b.a.i.!!

n guess wat?
e 1st thing my mum said was "macam maner bole hilang??? kakak nie, problem ar..."
1st thing 1 of my frens said was "how did u get so careless?"

ah bagos, my fault. ya i noe. i PURPOSELY wanna bring problems into my life bcos i SUKA sangat. gerek kan kan kan?

excuse while i cry to sleep.

eh wait i dun sleep remember? tt leaves me wif crying. GREAT.

t.g.i.f.

2007-01-19T21:49:00.000+08:00

2day my classes ended early, 12.30pm to b exact. my initial plan was to balik. i wanted to spend e afternoon lazying arnd sorang2 kat rumah. after dcm, i suddenly tot of playing in 1 of e practice rms for a while. e idea of having e whole studio to myself sounded so appealing. so i did it....

1st pic - damn, i'm so fat! juz look at how big i am. sigh...sad man.
so anywayz, i tried to play as many pieces as i can. i'm not as good as memorising as i used to be. if i have to play off-hand, i tink i only can do at most 5 songs. took vids of my playing den proceeded to e library to borrow textbks. i wanted to borrow a book for Rina too so i browsed thru e children's books. den i saw this....

'the alphabet tree'. i took out e 'loan card' slotted in e back cover. e 1st date stamped is '4 nov 1983'. omg, i was 1 week old! dis book has been arnd for as long as i have. isnt tt amazing?? ok ok, mayb not TT amazing. but wat r e chances rite? i was randomly selecting n found dis one. i tink it's fate. i believe coincidences r always fated.

i tink i havent mentioned dis in a while - i love my princess, my girl, my baby, my Rina. she really is my everything. life would b meaningless wifout her. dis may sound silly but sumtimes i feel tt she supports me, not e other way arnd. emotionally of course. i am so lucky, i really am. so Rina, if ur gonna b reading dis sumday, thank u sayang. ur e most important person in my life n i love u more n more wif each passing day.

as promised...

2007-01-18T09:05:00.000+08:00

ok peeps, e PICS have been uploaded. next up, e vids. all 10 of dem, i hope. haha.

anywayz, Muse is playing at KL next month on e 25th. anyone up for another Muse experience? ;)

2007-01-17T01:08:00.000+08:00

last year, i was here...

BACKSTREET BOYS @ indoor stadium

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

juz now, i was here...

MUSE @ fort canning park

muse baby, MUSE!! i lurved 'muse-ing' wif rye, nunun, rye's bro's ex-gf n a little bit of rizal. thanx babe, for coming over to say hi :) :) :) n thanx girls, for making my 1st-time muse experience one tt i'll remember. i danced n sang along as much as i can (wen i noe e lyrics lah, hehe) n of course e best part was e fact tt they r rite in front of me!

my voice is sore.
my feet r aching.
my ears r ringing.
my pictures r uploading.
but i dun care, i'm so damn happy! :D

p.s. - pics n vids uploaded into Multiply soon aite

home alone

2007-01-07T07:17:00.000+08:00

Rina's with her father for e weekend n i stayed home. on a Saturday nite. i rejected 3 separate offers frm frens (yes frens k) n spent my nite watching tv n hogging on e fone wif F. Thanx eh Uncle Han, for filling my nite wif lame jokes. but i gotcha wif tt brain teaser, yay!

*check out e time i took dis pic. was still on e fone, hence e earpiece.

p.s.- i pissed 2 diff guys (read: boys) 2nite. sheesh! guys can b so petty sey. worse than us girls. pls lah R n S, u wanna merajuk n tak geng dgn i? ur loss, not mine.

sexcited!

2007-01-06T00:09:00.000+08:00

testing MY panorama mode

1st time lah dok, very e jakun i noe :P

for e babes in my life

2007-01-01T23:46:00.000+08:00

This is a toast to us ladies for 2007. For the men who have us, losers who had us and the lucky ones who will still meet us.

For all e beautiful ladies who have walked into my life one way or another, have a wonderful year ahead babes.

I know I'm beginning to say this too often. but I love you lalings! muacks!! ;)

2006-12-24T20:07:00.000+08:00

sunrise from my bedroom window. e perks of living on e 14th floor.

p.s. - mental note: slide grille out of e way wen capturing e sky. mayb i'll take shots of sunrise again 2moro. tt is IF i wake up early :p

long pause....

2006-12-22T13:36:00.000+08:00

e title speaks for itself. i've been missing for almost a month now. but I'M BACK!!

i'm dedicating dis entry to e most important person in my life (other than Rina n my family). we met 10 yrs ago in sec1. we joined e same CCA n was in e same section for 4 yrs. den we stayed together despite going into diff paths in life - me to jc, she to poly. we've had our bad times due to both being strong-headed. but look at us now, closer than ever b4.

but anywayz, tt's not e point. my point is - Ain, i noe u've juz gone thru a big shock. it came so suddenly wifout any warning. tt's e one tt hurts e most. i'm sori i cant do much to help u. i feel so hopeless. all i can do is provide a ear to listen n a shoulder to cry on. i feel wat u feel cos i've been thru it. our situations r not exactly similar but e disappointment is.

cry if u need to, it helps. but remember to stay healthy. i noe u've been doing tt. trying to eat n getting as much sleep as possible. alhamdulillah...tt's gd. u've been strong too. u may not noe it but ur 1 of e strongest ppl i've ever known. things will get better. i promise u babe. it feels like it's e end of e world but it's not. Allah has planned better things for u n they'll arrive sooner or later. in e meantime, i'm here. ur family's here. so are ur other frens. we'll always love u. ur a lucky girl, juz like i am :)

yes u, i miss u

2006-11-24T05:40:00.000+08:00

updates:

1. Rina's foot is officially off e cast! woohoo...!! gdbye wet towels, hello showers. e bones are healing juz e way they're supposed to. next appt is in Feb. remind me to get sumthing for her gorgeous doctor n tt fantastic nurse =)

2. on Sun, Atuk left us exactly 1 year ago. last yr's 'events' are still vividly playing in my head. i still miss him, a lot. i called Nenek tt day n she cried on e fone. i went over for e kenduri and stayed there for e next 3 nites. only came back on Wed.

3. Ayah has been warded for his diabetes. he has rashes on his ankles and e doctor wants to monitor them. nuthing serious for now, phew...

4. my holidays are wasting away day by day. all i do is sleep. wenever i'm hm tt is. i caught Flushed Away wif Rina tt day. had a great laugh :D caught Casino Royale too. it's fantastic man. classic James Bond. i gotta admit, i was wrong abt David Craig. he's HOT! n i lurrrve e twists in e storyline. trust me ppl, watch it!

5. Raya is over. i juz feel tt dis year wasnt as meriah as i wanted it to. oh well, there's always next year.

i guess tt's abt it. as for me, i'm getting along fine. trust me babes, i noe wat i'm doing. i'll take care, i'll be cautious. wanna noe sumthing? i miss u girls sey.

so Rye, Naf, Fana, Dayanah n Ifah aka Rina's mak angkatsss: biler kiter nak jumpa?

foot update

2006-11-07T23:45:00.000+08:00

before i delay it any further (maklumlah, asik update pasal raya jer!), here is an update on Rina's injured foot. when the (pink!)cast was sawn off almost 2 weeks ago, we had a shock. her wound which at first seemed like juz scraped-off skin, got worse! apparently the same impact which fractured her toes, damaged her tissues too. so when the wound was trapped inside the cast, it deteriorated and grew bigger, with dead tissue covering it (1st n 2nd picture).

so even though the bones have not healed yet, her foot cannot be casted(is dis a real word?) again. the wound has to heal first. to date, the doctor has been able to remove all the dead tissue, exposing new (bleeding!)tissues (3rd picture). now the new tissues have to keep growing and in time, the wound will close. soon i hope. insya-allah...

k ppl, i give warning first eh. e pictures were taken at close range. n they're clear, everything can b seen. esp e 3rd one, where it shows a big, deep, red hole. so pls DO NOT scroll down if u noe u wont b able to take it.

Aidilfitri 06 Part III

2006-11-06T05:07:00.000+08:00

in respective order...
Day 8 HERE
Day 10 HERE
Day 11 HERE
Day 12 HERE

Aidilfitri 06 Part II

2006-11-02T06:51:00.000+08:00

i wrote my 2nd hari raya entry, complete wif photos n links to my multiply foto pg. TWICE. n it failed on me. TWICE. so now i'm pissed.

so ppl, here are e pics. DAY 5 & DAY 6

sesungguhnyer aku malas nak type2 lagi...

updated: 12:46m. yay! e entry magically appeared. i tink it got lost ah dis morning. pasal driver dier lum bgn. k k, i'm talking crap.

2006-11-02T06:37:00.000+08:00

5th Syawal

went hari raya visiting in e evening.
1st to Nek Ulas's - e last of Nenek's 7 sisters.
den to Andak's house - Ibu's older brother.
took pics wif Shidah, sumthing we do at every hari raya :)

day 5 photos HERE

6th Syawal

started e day wif foto-taking. Rina wanted to pose wif my selendang. tt black n white pic is my favourite of all e poses. so sweet kannn... :)
den went visiting wif my family, Auntie Dah's family n Nenek. Mamang's family joined us later. dis group pic was taken at Nek Kana's house - another one of Nenek's sisters.

day 6 photos HERE

Aidilfitri 06 Part I

2006-10-30T05:14:00.000+08:00

1st Syawal

pink, white n maroon were e colours of e year. n yes, only 2 pinks were arnd.
day 1 photos HERE

2nd Syawal

went for DCM in blue kebaya. was late for class so tangkap glamour kejap. haha...
day 2 photos HERE

3rd Syawal

had DCE tt day. it seems so weird not wearing anything 'rayaish'. so purple kebaya top it is!
day 3 photos HERE

p.s.- another decent foto wif my ninonet. woohoooo!
p.p.s. - Aidilfitri 06 Part II coming up soon...

Welcome to Vivo City!

2006-10-23T06:01:00.000+08:00

yest Khairil came over to see Rina before going off to KL. he suggested going to e brand new Vivo City. i contemplated whether to go or not. part of me juz wanted him to take Rina out. but a part of me wanted to see Vivo City. there has been so much hype over it. plus i was hoping to do sum shopping for raya. so ya, i decided to go.

i took tt pic on top wen we juz arrived. we were going down e escalator after parking e car. to him, if ur reading dis, it almost felt like old times. almost cos we both know it'll never be the same as before. let's make a deal. even if e inevitable happens, we must stay frens n go out like how we did yest k. wif Rina of course. agreed?

anywayz, Vivo City is wat ppl say it is. gigantic, big, huge. it's spacious too. n omg, e brands tt i saw juz from a glance are eye-popping. i went straight to Zara 1st. sekali Rina nangis, so tak jadi nak visit Kak Zara. she kept crying so i told Khairil to buy food for her. as soon as she got her LJS Kids Meal, terus senyap. anak aku lapar lah beb.

Amirul stayed over at my place e nite before. so he tagged along. he was e appointed babysitter for e day. i told him, watever happens, tt foot must never b in danger. n alhamdulillah, nuthing happened to Rina. wen they were at e play area, he said no everytime Rina wanted to go up e slide n opted to entertain her wif building blocks instead. my verdict? pass! so do i look like a mother of 2? Kai said i do. hmm...i shall take tt as a compliment. babes, wat do u tink?

p.s. - e rest of e pics HERE. all taken wif my 6111.

Ibu's 46th

2006-10-19T04:18:00.000+08:00

4 big ones n 6 small ones - e coffee cake was so sedap!

rina n her bday nenek

e bday girl gets e double khish...

ah, ni baru band foto!
me - keyboardist, ayah - singer/guitarist, fifi - drummer
haha, ya rite!

Ibu turned 46 yest. juz wen we were abt to recover frm all e bday celebrations in sept, there came another cake! not tt we didnt like it...e coffee cake was delicious. tak sia2 try flavour baru. n it'll denifitely not be e last time we celebrate wif a coffee cake.

it was a simple affair @ rumah yewtee. i was supposed to have tuition but e mum wanted to postphone it to e next day (2day lah kan!). so me n rina (still wearing her sch uni) went over before ibu left for work. yes ppl, ibu still went to work last nite.

we had fun taking pics. surprisingly, ayah was kinda 'sporting'. e 'band' foto? i like :)
wen ibu had to leave for work, i had to distract rina. in case she cries for her nenek. so fifi n me brought her into e jamming rm (my 'ex-room'). i tried out a simple basic rhythm on e drums n fifi helped 'polish' it for me. sounds nicer. i like :)
while fifi was playing, i sat beside rina who was fiddling wif e electric guitar. try punyer try, fifi helped me wif e chords. den i played simple chords n fifi joined in on e drums. our own mini jamming session. i like :)

e rest of e pictures are HERE

oh btw, i sent rina to sch juz now. her 1st day wif e cast. e teachers said she was ok, even walked arnd wif her classmates. she didnt even cry a single tear. i'm so proud of my princess :)

euphoria

2006-10-17T06:16:00.000+08:00

euphoria. u noe tt feeling u get wen ur extremely happy. esp if u got sumthing u've really wanted, for a looong time. or wen sumthing totally unexpected happens n it gets u dreaming e craziest dream. or wen sumone gives u a compliment tt totally seems sooo bedek but actually ur feeling sooo kembang.

i've been getting a lot of tt lately. euphoria i mean, NOT e compliments. i dunno y, almost everything makes me happy. n i mean H-A-P-P-Y. but unfortunately, e novelty is wearing off. it's like my standard of euphoria has dropped. noe wat i mean? sumone once told me not to use e word 'sorry' so often because den my 'sorry' wont have its value anymore. so ya, my 'euphoria' has lost its meaning.

n dis happy feeling gets me smiling so much tt i freaked out my bro 2day. i sat down in front of kai n all i did was say 'hi' n smile. he'ld say sumthing n i'ld reply wif 'hi' n a smile. bcos tt's all i felt like doing. S-M-I-L-E. tak caya ask rye, e person who gets all my nonsense every day. wenever i cant stop smiling, she'll give me TT look n squeezeee e story out of me. trust me, there's ALWAYS a story. take last thursday for example. as usual, i met rye n kai after dce. n i had dis stupid smiling face for god knows how long. cite punyer cite punyer cite, al-kisah...oh, n on saturday, i kept repeating THOSE words. "thanx...love it!" "thanx...love it!" "thanx...love it!" if i hadnt shown fifi THE sms, he'ld have thought i had gone crazy!

oh ya, sunday was e ultimate ah. i finally paid geylang a visit n bought my baju raya, 2 in fact. i was sooo happpyyy! so i texted e same sms to 4 diff peeps. if not for e stupid crowd n e fact tt punya susah sey nak sms, i tink i would have smsed all my peeps. ya, i was TT happy. k k, i tink i shld stop using e word 'happy'. was tt e tenth time? dunno lah, tak kuasa nak kira.

so ya, back to lost of meaning. i get TT feeling so easily, like in a split sec. n small little things can make me so happy (ah damn, i used it again). n how does it disappear? e exact same way! in a split sec n a small little thing can kill it. n i mean kill. kill as in smile is wiped off my face instantly. tt's not good is it? my body is a wonderland. eh wrong, my body is a rollercoaster lah beb. my highs n lows are secs apart. n it's frustrating lah. seriously.

k k, i tink i'm beginning to sound nonsensical. wat am i doing blogging abt euphoria, lost of meaning, happiness n watnots?? i shld stick to fotos. yeah, so here goes...

my 'cindy crawford' n i

us again - rina is doing ok btw. albeit her ngada2ness lah. crying once in a while, 1 per day usually.

me and dayanah - we were 'separated' for 2 whole weeks before finally meeting in sch last week. aper lagi, tt calls for a big hug! haha.

last but certainly not e least (excluding height of course), me n ryehan - dis is 1 of our FEW decent pics. by decent i mean wifout tt ever so popular nose. hers eh, not mine. she's e who listens to my nonsense (good AND bad), e one who makes me laugh n e one who knocks sense into me (but i dun guarantee it works lah, haha). n it works both ways eh. she's full of crap too u noe. alah, we're both full of crap lah. n crazy. n nonsensical. n lame. over u! oh, n we're each other's atm machines. haha.

follow-up KK appt

2006-10-13T19:04:00.000+08:00

waiting for the nurse to call us

they opened e bandage and her foot was still bleeding badly. it took all of me not to cry. i know i gotta stay strong for Rina. she hugged me tight while they plastered her foot.

she was fine after tt. but i know e cast is uncomfortable. juz look @ her face, she's trying hard to b strong. i'm so proud of my princess :)

e follow-up doc said e same thing as e bone specialist i.e. she fractured 3 bones in her 3 toes. he said her foot needs to be in a plastercast. we will have to go to KK again in 2 weeks time. more specifically 3 days after raya, on e 27th. they'll take off e cast n xray her foot again. hopefully e bones would have healed by den. insya-allah...keep Rina in ur prayers k? thanx babes :)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

on a lighter note, here's sumthing i took @ nenek's place.
rina: i wanna b a ballerina!
naziyah: eh, kiter takde space lahhhh...
solehah: i wanna eat ur hand!!
amirul: ahhh...dun eat my hand!!

wat's life wifout kids like dis rite? i love my family. n i love u peeps. n i love my princess :)

mental note

2006-10-11T21:37:00.000+08:00

1. DLK final test - 6th Nov

2. DCE assignment 2 - due 6th Nov

3. DCM class test - 18th Oct

4. Music thingy - have no bloody idea...

p.s.- update on Rina in next entry

2 A&E visits in less than 1 week!

2006-10-08T16:47:00.000+08:00

last Wed i was here...

...from 5plus till past midnite. i went to e polyclinic in e afternoon bcos i woke up wif a giant headache n cudnt go for classes. i've been having blurred vision too. so e doc immediately sent me to e A&E @ NUH. she gave me a referral letter n told me to go there straightaway. so i did. by myself. n yes, i was by myself all thruout my stay there. e diagnosis?
IT is still bad. in fact, mayb worse. e hosp doc said tt e level is quite high.
IT is causing my heartbeat to be unstable.
IT has affected my vision. my right eye has complications.
IT is making me lose more weight. i'm lighter than b4.

n after 3 days, another incident happened yest. as a result, dis is Rina now...

yest, i brought Rina to e library @ lot 1. while i was picking out books to borrow, Rina climbed an empty bookshelf and fell on her back. e bookshelf then fell on her. on her left foot to be exact. her 1st 3 toes were in awkward positions n immediately i suspected sumthing broke. i was in shock n i took a few secs to react. den i called Ayah. i pushed e bookshelf away, carried Rina and struggled to grab e bags which were on e floor. thruout e whole thing, ppl (including parents!) looked @ us as though we were zoo exhibits. damn those ppl!

by e time i reached e taxi stand, her foot swelled up n became blue-black. n once again, ppl juz walked past n stared. yes, including mlys. n yes, including makciks2. double damn!! i asked for ice @ e 7-11. but den Rina didnt want anything to touch her foot. called my cd fren. he asked his medic for advice. n told me to brg her to doc. den Ayah arrived n brought us to KK Emergency. Rina was crying all e way.

after e xray, it was confirmed tt her bones broke. e 3 middlebones on her 1st 3 toes were moved on impact. they were crooked, pointing towards e left. e doc had to straighten them back. i followed her into e treatment room. she was given general anasthesia which means her whole body went numb. her eyes were open but she cudnt see me, cudnt hear me, cudnt feel me. n she kept moaning "ahhh...ahhh..." i cudnt hold back my tears. it's like her body was there but her soul isnt. if only we didnt go lib, if only i was looking @ her, if only i saved her, if only i grabbed e bookshelf, if only..., if only...

after e procedure, i sat by her side. her foot was already in a cast. she kept reaching out wif her hands. everytime i held them, she let go n stretched further. @ times she would suddenly cry aloud for a few seconds den stop. e nurse said tt mayb she was having a nightmare bcos her heartbeat rose. after abt an hr, she was back to normal. she woke up for a while but fell back to sleep, exhausted from all e crying. e doc told us to come back on Tues.

dis morning, Rina is better. i tink wen e bones were straightened, e pain improved. no continuous crying anymore but still cries once in a while. she totally hates e cast. keeps telling me to take it off. she cant stand, much less walk. her appetite wasnt affected (thank god!) and her body temperature is normal. alhamdulillah...

my dear peeps, pls pray for her speedy recovery. i cant bear to see Rina in pain. i feel so helpless n tt hurts a lot. i havent gone into self-blame yet, but i'm scared i will soon. pray tt i will have e strength to get thru everything. i feel like a punching bag. everytime sumthing happens, it's like a punch. wat if i cant take anymore punches? Allah is sure testing me right now...

plain truth

2006-10-02T23:53:00.000+08:00

i feel stupid. i really do. sebodoh-bodohnyer lah aku...

i feel tired. exhausted. worn-out. all energy drained out of me. brain juice has long been used up.

i feel sick. i shiver. i feel breathless. i cant carry heavy stuff. i cant walk too far. my eyes go blur. why??

what i DUN feel is...e need to take my medication. seriously. i do not wanna take it. i dun even know where it is. bagos, aku suker...

ur a jerk ah. fuck it, u both are jerks. eh wait, every single one of u lah. ya, true. i'm gonna go on wif tt belief. bagos.

but hate is not e opposite of love. hate means tt person still means sumthing to u. u still care enuff to have emotions towards him. so ya, indifference is e word for it. not knowing whether tt person still exists n NOT even caring abt it. so ya, i'm unconcerned. so there.

love? bullshit. manipulating feelings is e way to go nowadays. dah trend lah. everybody's doing it. except aku! but ya, i AM e one getting manipulated. so ya, tt answers it all. patotlah....

i miss enot!!

2006-09-30T19:59:00.000+08:00

berbuka puaser...di rumah sayer...

2006-09-29T18:02:00.000+08:00

the iftar went well! in fact, it went gggrrreeeaaattt!!! hehe...
carrying heavy groceries frm shopnsave, panicking over e roti jala, kirai-ing until my hip hurts, keep having to sit down, stand up den sit down again, etc were definitely worth it. cam nak buat lagi ah! hehe....

e rest of the photos are HERE

my sincerest, heartfelt THANX to all e ppl who made it, esp Jaz. thanx bro, dah satu tahun kiter tak jumpa sey...
thank you...
Rye
Imran
Faizal
Fizah
Khairil
Farhaana
thank you yg sebanyak-banyaknyer to Ibu for helping me cook. if it werent for you, i tink nuthing would have been done. believe it or not, i hugged Ibu n Ayah wen they were going back. dun ask me y, it was @ e spur of e moment.

so enjoy e pics. credits to Fizah's digicam :)

happy bday to me!

2006-09-28T10:37:00.000+08:00

new shoes! thanx fizah :)
swensens - handsome waiter/manager!
laughter
yellow balloon - handsome guy kasi!!
birthday ice-cream
birthday song - awww...so sweet...
2 candles = 2 wishes. heh.
laughter again - bestie? buddy? hahahaha...

woodlands al-ameen
happy birthday fizah!
silly pics - fizah 'strangling im', us acting cute, rye trying to become a rabbit. lol!
chilling wif teh tarik/teh ais/milo dinosaur/mineral water
home sweet home - thanx bro :)

2006-09-27T14:27:00.000+08:00

i guess i owe it to myself to write an entry today
it is my birthday after all
so ya, happy birthday to me
i'm 23 now
great, juz great

things have not been settled yet. i made a decision yest. but apparently his intentions have changed. n i'm confused. damn pissed n damn scared. but mostly confused. cos hearts are not meant to be broken....

2006-09-25T23:27:00.000+08:00

2moro is less than 10 hrs away
either way, my heart will break

jeng jeng jeng...

2006-09-23T05:58:00.000+08:00

from jakun to estatic to VA-VA-VOOM!

nice tak? =)

surprise!

2006-09-23T04:15:00.000+08:00

clockwise frm top left:
1. rina & ain. in rye's words, "dah best fren eh...."
2. ain. she is sooo cute & friendly! macam mak nenek. hehe...
3. to rina. love mak angkats....
4. showing off my flower card - alamak, my eyes spoiler man. so kuyu...
5. me wif them - do i look like a mother of 2?
6. rina's baking set
7. one last hug before going parted ways. cute kan? sigh...i miss ain!
8. iffah, rina & dayanah. eh eh, yg kasi present pun kesukaan mcm yg dpt present. haha.

centre picture:
thanx babes. i love love love e flower card!
hard, i'm gonna find a printer very very soon n print tt pic u sent me. den finally my card will be complete :)

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

2006-09-19T05:25:00.000+08:00

i love my babes

i love my NIE babes

i love my sweet NIE babes

i love my sweet NIE babes/Rina's godmothers

i love my sweet NIE babes/Rina's godmothers because they surprised me last nite

i love my sweet NIE babes/Rina's godmothers because they surprised me with a card last nite

i love my sweet NIE babes/Rina's godmothers because they surprised me with a card and a dress last nite

i love my sweet lovely NIE babes/Rina's godmothers because they surprised me with a card and a dress last nite and i know they love me too :)

thank u ladies. n Rina thanks u also for e baking set and her 2nd Dora figurine.

Iffah, D, Rye, Fana, Hard, Naf - i tink if 1 drop of water is a thank you, all e oceans in e world wont even come close to how much i appreciate everything u've done for me n for Rina. dis is for u...

a bag of laughter
a sack of jokes
we always laugh
till we almost choke

a ray of sunshine
a hint of hope
u light up my life
n made it easier for me to cope

wat will i be
wifout my darlings
life in NIE
will be much more pressuring

u may not realise
tt u are my angels
my life changed
wen i meet u girls

- Suliana

p.s.- i'm not 23, YET. :p

p.p.s.- e dress fits nicely! pics uploaded soon k?

i am 3 yrs old!

2006-09-18T02:06:00.000+08:00

dis entry shld have been written earlier. but nevertheless, better late than never rite? so here goes...

on wednesday, my princess turned 3. nothing can describe how i feel seeing my daughter grow up so fast. it still amazes me till dis day tt i gave life to dis little child. i can vividly remember e time i found out tt i was carrying a girl.
nurse: so u want to know e gender or not?
me: yes pls...
nurse(moving e 'pointer' arnd my stomach): it's a girl

tt was e 1st time my eyes teared 4 my baby. e mths after tt were heavenly, albeit e morning(read: all day) sickness. my appetite grew, n so did me. my face glowed n my pimples disappeared. my energy level wasnt compromised n i continued my 'soccer' routine - following him to his matches to give support n late nite soccer matches at e monkeys cafe. it felt so good to be pregnant. i guess i gotta thank my (good)hormones 4 tt. oh, n i went for e asia league cup at KL. i ran arnd e hotel lobby getting autographs n taking pics wif e Chelsea team. rina was already 'rubbing shoulders' wif (gorgeous)soccer stars even b4 she was born. heh.

Khairina Adrienne was brought into dis world on e 13th of Sept 2003 at 9.44am. e name was a joint effort by me n him (khairil + suliana = khairina). e delivery was a breeze(lucky me!) but e recovery wasnt. i was in pain countless times, physically n emotionally. i broke down a few days after being crowned a new mother bcos i felt so useless. she cried all e time n i dunno wat to do to appease her. i slept in e day n stayed up ALL nite. but thankfully, wif e support of Ibu n Nenek, i pulled thru. i started to adore my baby and we bonded as mother n child.

e next time i cried 4 rina was during her majlis cukur rambut. e moment e men started singing/chanting, it juz happened. e feeling was instantaneous n lasted for only awhile. at tt time, i realised tt i AM a mother n she is MY responsibility. i made a vow n prayed tt rina shldnt n wont have to suffer, no matter wat happens. i have no idea y i did tt then, but now i understand. God 'moved' me(gerakkan hati) n made me pray. rina has never been a sad child. cranky yes, stubborn also yes, but never sad.

needless to say, there have been many more tears since then. n i know there will be many many more to come. but for every tear, there will be laughter. i've cried, laughed, cried again, laughed summore, cried a bit, laughed a bit den laughed a lot. i'm not a great mother(neither am i a good one for tt matter) but i'll be one soon. i'm working towards tt. insya-allah...

HAPPY 3RD BIRTHDAY MY DARLING PRINCESS
You are my life, my soul, my tears, my laughter, my angel, my most precious treasure, n most importantly, you are my daughter...
Mama loves you sayang...

thank u rye n imran for coming. i appreciate it. i'm sure rina does too. aku terhutang budi kat korang...
thanx to imran especially for rina's edited pic. erm...i forgot wat it's called. but it's beautiful. so thank u.
thank u to him for making e effort to come. it's good to know tt ur love for rina has not been affected. u made her happy. n tt makes me happy.

e pics, as promised

2006-09-18T01:55:00.000+08:00

the fab four unites!

2006-09-17T00:13:00.000+08:00

i've juz reached hm. n i'm blogging now juz in case i forget any exciting details later.

e sept babies planned to have a birthday dinner followed by karaoke-ing today. sept babies = e fab four - kai, faizal, fizah n me (i was gonna bring rina along). plan was changed a bit at e very last min but all went well. we did manage to sit down n talk at e end of it all. rina got a kiss from faizal, fizah n i got a hug from kai. before i start recounting wat happened during our 'date', i juz wanna mention tt i love my bros n sis a lot. we dun spend as much time as we did but our frenship continues growing. hingga ke akhir hayat, insya-allah...

fizah, kai n me was supposed to meet 1st cos faizal could only make it after 6.30pm. last min tukar plan cos kai had to attend a kenduri n couldnt escape from it. he wanted to meet fizah n me before going off BUT it rained heavily. heavily as in kai couldnt ride out. i didnt go out either, for fear of rina being caught in e rain. nasib baik fizah had sumone accompanying her at town. she had reached town much much earlier, even before it started raining. cut e story short, by e time we (rina n me) made our way to plaza sing, faizal was already on e way. so we took e train together.

we ate dinner at burger king. a fast one cos fizah booked e karaoke rm at 7pm. it was 7.30pm n we were still eating! i bought n took-away a kids meal juz in case rina would be hungry. we took e train again n reached e place by 8pm. here's wen e fun started. it's been sooo long since i last karaoke-d. it felt great to sing my lungs out n enjoying it wif my frens at e same time. i cant remember all e songs we sang but sum 'highlights' were...
1. i sang 'creep' by radiohead. dis is dedicated to lukas rossi of course. i love u lukas! *faint*
2. fizah sang 'bunga bunga cinta'. all i can say is, wahhhhhhhh........*mouth wide open*
3. rina (plus us as back-up) sang pop yeh yeh. sukernyer dier.....
4. i sang 'thank u for loving me' by bon jovi. had meaning behind it. reflected a lot on my past. sigh...
5. we sang 'mamma mia' n 'dancing queen'. hahaha...it was silly but fun. faizal's idea.
6. faizal sang 'i started a joke'. special song to him. he sang standing up. great performance bro *pats faizal's back*
7. we sang 'ada apa dgnmu' n 'mungkin nanti' together. tt was nice. *smiles*
tt wasnt all. there were many more songs. many more memories. memories i'll keep wif me forever. i cant wait for our next karaoke session!

so anywayz, kai joined us after tt. we went to macs to have a drink and catch up. a lot of 'interesting' topics/stories came up. sigh...i guess sum ppl r not wat they seem to be. can b shocking at times but like kai said 'buat aper jaga tepi kain orng? we shld worry abt ourselves". so true, dun u tink?

faizal - thank u for helping me wif rina's bag n watnots. n for carrying rina all e way frm e mrt station to plaza sing. n den frm mrt to apollo centre. it's kinda shocking tt she let u carry her. n ur voice wen talking to rina is sumthing i have never heard before. i didnt noe u had tt paternal instinct. n it's heart-warming to see it in u :)

fizah - thank u for planning e karaoke session. as i've said, it was a stress reliver. i truly had a lot of fun n u made tt happen. i love u sis. n ur voice is amazingly amazing. u shld try out for anugerah again. i'm always available if u need support.

kai - thank u making e effort to come even though u knew we had already finished singing. u rode frm amk to chinatown juz for e sole purpose of spending time wif us. i appreciate it n i'm sure faizal n fizah do too. thanx for e group hug. i love u bro. looking forward to our weekly lunches...

p.s.- pics will b uploaded as soon as fizah sends them

Headspin

2006-09-15T09:06:00.000+08:00

"Lukas, you're our boy"

i am estatic! nuthing can describe how happy i am. it's like wen Italy won e world cup but much much MUCH better. all those nites wifout spore idol were worth it. late nites wenever i missed e 8pm show, patiently waiting for songs to be downloaded, copying n pasting pictures frm e internet, etc. ppl, MY Lukas Rossi won. e one i've been crazy n rambling abt in sch. e one whose face is all over my laptop. yeah, TT one. he's fronting Supernova.

u dunno me Lukas but i'm soooo proud of u. u kept it real e whole time. staying rooted to ur image, to urself. not once have u compromised who u r. u took supernova's criticism and used it to improve urself. remember wen Jason kept bugging u abt ur voice? yeah well, he's not gonna be doing tt anymore. i knew frm e start tt ur different frm e rest. u look smug, act proud but really is so humble inside. i sooo LOVE u. ur hot!

i've been listening to Lukas Rossi's performances since yest.
his song list...
week 1: Rebel Yell - Billy Idol
week 2: Don't Panic - Coldplay
week 3: Let's Spend The Night Together - The Rolling Stones
week 4: Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve
week 5: Celebrity Skin - Hole
week 6: Creep - Radiohead
week 7: Hero - Nickelback
week 8: All These Things That I've Done - The Killers
week 9: Lithium - Nirvana
week 10: Livin' On A Prayer - Bon Jovi, Headspin - Lukas Rossi (Original)
week 11: Fix You - Coldplay, Headspin - Lukas Rossi (stripped down version)
*updated*

if u wanna listen to any of them, buzz me on msn. i'll gladly pass them to u.

i have to say tt e finale was SMASHING. i was jumping arnd almost all e time sey. Magni, Toby, Dilana n Lukas were amazing. they sang songs they've already done but sumhow they sound even better! esp wen Toby did 'White Wedding'. wah....he is sooo hot! Lukas's better but he is a CLOSE 2nd. sexy sak dier ni....den my Lukas did 'Bittersweet Symphony'. alamak...i almost fainted sey...felt like i was in cloud 9. haha. oh btw, Lukas got e highest no. of votes. e 7 votes i sent in sch were worth every single cent! n he wore pink lipgloss last nite. tt's so sexy! geramnyer akuuu...

they really did become a family. competition aside, they love each other to bits. yeah, even Lukas n Dilana. Magni played for Toby n Lukas. all 3 boys sang wif Dilana. e show ran recaps frm e very 1st episode. i miss Josh, Zayra, Ryan n Storm. there were gd memories, bad memories, naked memories. haha. there was once wen Toby n Dilana wanted e same song. she dared him. if Toby really really wanted e song, he has to strip down to nuthing n run arnd e pool. he did it of course, in front of everybody. n got e chance to perform wif Gilby. a few weeks later, Dilana desperately wanted 'Every Breath You Take'. Toby couldnt care less abt tt song BUT purposely fought for it. time for revenge! n yes, she did it too. woohooo!!

so yeah, it has come to an end. Tommy Lee on drums, Jason Newsted doing bass, Gilby Clarke rocking his guitar AND Lukas Rossi smashing his vocals. Rock on baby!!

p.s.-wonder which rock grp will it be next season...hmm...

si-nga-pore! jia-you!

2006-09-07T03:41:00.000+08:00

spore vs china.

ppl. a LOT of ppl.

looong queue. stupid ticketing system.

so tired already. got seats.

after 10min, halftime whistle blown.

2nd half exciting. but no goals.

final whistle. spore 0 china 0.

walked to kedai kopi 'imam' near kallang mrt.

MORE tired. n thirsty. drank 2 glasses of teh ais.

ate prata cheese mushrm. stomach feeling funny. stopped eating.

threw up e teh ais n prata 15 mins later. tepi longkang.

wash up. call ayah.

taxi ride. h2o. home.

p.s.- i'm exhausted. plus dehydrated. lazy to type in full sentences. get e rough idea rite?

2006-08-31T21:33:00.000+08:00

i went to e malay foodstall at e kopitiam, sunshine place dis morning, after sending Rina. dah lama tak mkn mee siam

Me: cik, mee siam satu. bungkos.

Cik: bungkos eh? ok.

Me: (looking at freshly fried chicken wings) cik, ayam satu braper?

Cik: satu $1.20, tapi kalau beli dua $2 jer :)

Me: (wif hungry stomach) ok ah. sayer ambik dua :)

Cik: (while packing e food) hari ni tak skola?

Me: ah? skola. tapi petang. (dlm hati: amacam makcik ni bole tau aku masih skola?)

Cik: ohhh...petang... :)

Me: :)

Cik: skola menengah kat ner? (hold ur laughter!)

Me: :0 cik, sayer bukan kat skola menengah. sayer dah universiti. sayer baru hantar anak sayer kat atas.

Cik: hah?? anak?! kecik, comel gini dah ader anak???

ok, altogether now...hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
me? sec sch? hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
me? kecik comel? hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
i was wearing jjc shorts(dah bole muat!), my italy jacket n slippers. no make-up, no bag. everything stuffed into pockets, including my hands. n i look 16?? tak mungkin ah...cik tu purposely wanna boost my ego agaknyer.

bottomline is i look younger than my age!

heh.

post-MC plus a dash of reality TV

2006-08-30T22:48:00.000+08:00

for e 1st time 2day i sacrificed Rockstar Supernova to watch e full Singapore Idol Spectaculars. i wouldnt say tt i regretted it but i expected better ah. Hadi, Jonathan n Paul sang ok lah. ok jer. to me, best performance was Jon's Unforgettable. i wanted to be HIS 'unforgettable' one! yg lagi dua tu tak payah cakap lah eh. they shldnt even be in e final 5!

i'm gonna catch a repeat of Rockstar Supernova later. but b4 tt, i must watch Project Runway. i've resisted e urge to go on e Net n find out who won. let's keep e suspense going :)
n i really really really hope tt Lukas wouldnt fail me again. n hopefully Dilana fumbled on her lyrics or sumthing. she's a gd performer but her attitude is horrible ah.

tt said, i was back in sch 2day. have A LOT to catch up on. esp for DED200 seminar project. i didnt manage to meet all of my babes juz now. Fana, Naf, gue rindu sama lo! n they're not e only ones i miss. sigh...
sumone called me b4 dinner n made me cry. not helping e situation at all. but yeah, i'm used to ppl making me cry. i guess ppl will never understand me fully. tt's alrite. i dun understand myself sumtimes.

tink positive Su.
1. Rina's going to BirdPark wif her sch 2moro. yay! i'm excited for her. hehe...
2. Kevin dah start manjer2 wif me. bagus...u need A LOT of convincing b4 i let u date my daughter. be prepared. haha. (padahal baru nursery)
3. Kenduri at rumah Nenek Kana on Sat. i cant wait to see my relatives' faces wen they see me. guarantee they'll be asking me for my 'secret'. (takde secret. my life is enuff to make me lose another 20kg. 1 day b4 my bday summore. great.)
4. Teacher Elanor is starting to toilet-train Rina. goodbye diapers! insya-allah...
5. $50 JL/Robinsons voucher. i need to buy pants/jeans. everything cant fit me anymore. damn.

note to self: project meeting 2moro. email DLK tutor by Fri abt assignment. email all affected tutors abt my MC.

rojak oh rojak, kenapa engkau rojak?

2006-08-27T05:10:00.000+08:00

1st things 1st, Hadi's not tt bad after all. i guess i got too worked up bcos tt song means a lot. to me. "keep it up dude. win my heart over. i'll vote for u."

i watched e break up last week wif Rye, Filza n Hard. e story's great. i can totally relate to how they reacted to each other. Filza was cheering everytime e female side 'won'. hmm...do i detect a hint of feminism? Jennifer Aniston looked amazing. n Vince Vaughn acted well. i was impressed. e ending was a big duh~ but i guess e moral of e story is to let go wifout any grudges. sumtimes things juz dun work out. n life goes on.

i got e letter yest. he means business. n i guess tt's good. sumbody had to make e 1st move rite? i gotta admit tt my heart sank wen i read it. luckily Mas was wif me. she's gonna help me get thru dis. n i'm grateful for tt. i'm counting on ur help Mas. i'll be lost wifout it.

k. change topic. lighten e mood. i went out wif Mas n Ain on Friday for a quick lunch at Thai Express, Citylink. we managed to catch up on times. it's been a whole decade since we 1st met each other in sec1. we talked abt band times, bitched abt work/sch n took fotos. after tt Ain had to go to work, Mas n i decided to watch Click. e timing was juz rite. but Mas had to rush back to work n i watched it alone. dun worry Mas, i understand.

Click was great. i love e movie. i love almost every Adam Sandler movie, but dis one is by far e BEST one he's ever made. i cried buckets towards e end. typical Adam Sandler, hilarious but heart-wrenching e.g. e Wedding Singer, 50 First Dates, Big Daddy. i wont spoil e surprise for those who have not watched it, but let's juz say tt 'Family comes FIRST.'

i was supposed to go for Womad juz now. but i pulled out at e end. it's not juz e financial factor. it's also sumthing else. i need to let myself have fun, but i always end up not doing whatever it is i planned to do. sigh...my sincerest apologies to Latha n e rest.

i took a longgg...hot shower juz now. at abt midnite i tink. i set up my aromatherapy, lighted e candle, switched off e lights n juz sat under e hot water. tinking. i dunno how long i did tt, but let's juz say tt i'm expecting a (big)hike in my sp powers bill. sigh...

Rockstar Supernove update: Patrice finally left. it's abt time. wat took her so long?? Supernova cut her out bcos it was her 3rd time in e bottom 3. they were saying tt they have to listen to e audience, sooner or later. everybody was shocked at Dilana's attitude. she's a bitch. now it shows.

sigh...Raya is gonna be bad. very bad. 1st Raya wifout Atok. 1st Raya wifout Khairil. beats e purpose of celebrating. dammit. wats e f-ing point?? excuse me while i tink abt tt.

*hot showers anyone?*

my wednesday morning...

2006-08-23T10:46:00.000+08:00

i gotta do this before going off to send Rina, then go for project meeting.

Patrice. original song didnt impress. SHE didnt impress, as usual. she should be e one booted last week, not Zayra. i dun like her.

Magni. wow! he's supposed to be sick rite? but wow! plus i love e nirvana song. his wife is a verrryyy lucky girl.

Ryan. he's hot man. so intense. e i wanna give my all for u kinda intense. not e i wanna eat u type. at 1st i thought, what sak dis song "take off ur clothes. i'll show u" something like tt ah. but yeah, it's a nice song. apparently he wrote it for Supernova.

Storm. i didnt watch her. i took a shower. i didnt miss out on anything. watever.

Dilana. she started off being my fav. yeah, she sang well. yeah, she has 'instints'. yeah, she's sooo heartfelt. i'm beginning to get sick of her. plus she talked bad abt MY Lukas. BIGGG mistake girl.

Toby. wah. Layla actually became a rock song. hmm...i dunno if i liked tt. but e taking off his shirt part? i loike!!

last but sooooo not least, Lukas. i love him. to e point tt i dun wanna miss Rockstar Supernova bcos of him. i love his hair. love his make-up. love his style. love e way he talks. love e way he sings.....k, back to reality. he's hot today. wif e jacket, e gloves, e shades. wait, he's hot every day. sang ok. went back to usual self halfway thru e song. but i wasnt blown away. he's done better before. e performance reminded me of when he sang Celebrity Skin. i hope he does better next week. go Lukas!!

p.s.- Ryan is sooo gonna get e encore again. great.

i dun like hadi

2006-08-17T03:07:00.000+08:00

since e beginning, (almost)everybody has been gushing over/rooting for him. i couldnt, n still CANT, see what makes him TT good so i juz kept quiet. BUT after seeing dis week's performances, i cant keep quiet anymore ah.

"u promised me heaven n put me thru hell

ur a loaded gun

there's no where to run

no one can save me, e damage is done"

to me, he was HORRIBLE. 1stly, he sang one of my all-time favourite songs. tak berkenan langsung! n DEN, HE RUINED E SONG! omg, i felt like crying sey. seriously! yes i know he has a gd voice but 'you give love a bad name' is a ROCK song, for gdness' sake. it's abt a guy whose heart got 'tortured' by a lying bitch. he sang as though it's a song abt freaking rainbows!

hadi, i dunno u. dis is juz my opinion eh. but u aint tt gd ah dude. seriously. come to tink of it, u aint gd-looking too. so cinone. but i admit, i'm kinda biased on tt. n QUIT acting charming, smiley n everything. pls ah, do sumthing to live up to ur (supposed)reputation.

hey, life goes on rite?

2006-08-12T11:04:00.000+08:00

ninonet n me played a game some time ago. silly but meaningful. i actually typed out our (edited)convo here but it got lost sumwhere. dammit! but anywayz, i suggested we take turns to mention sumthing good in/abt our lives. in less than an hr, we reached no. 25. then e convo kinda went off topic.

i realised tt i have so many things to be thankful for. not tt i didnt before, but after i typed out no. 1, e rest juz kept flowing out. dis is a BIG step for me, considering i was always known as e pessimistic one by my friends. i gave up even before i tried bcos i always believe tt it wont work. but now i've learnt to look on e bright side of things. tt's great! rite?

maybe sumday i'll list down e 25 things, 25 great reasons why my life should always be treasured. in e meantime, i wanna add my no. 26. i'm sooo thankful tt i have a fren like ninonet who apparently takde keje lain so she did up dis new, gorgeous layout. thanx babe, i lurrrrve it! so drama, so vogue lah. n how did u know tt i was really hopefully for a black backgrnd?? sayangggg kau!

oh, no. 27. i am happy!, eh wait make tt estatic!!, tt i'm back in sch again. seeing n talking to my friends n recognising familiar faces in yr1s (so many jjcians!). canteen food is still great, but e queues are fatal! as in if one is seriously hungry, one can die queueing up for food. heh.

i lost wgt. i wont boast here n say how much i lost. let's juz say tt i'm back to e size i was in jc. n ppl, i do not have a secret. i did not do anything. i was sick twice during e hols n tt's it. e wgt juz kept disappearing. it still is, btw. at dis rate, maybe i can fit into a bikini after all ;) heh. i know dis is not magic n have to take a blood test juz in case, but i'm thankful tt i'm still healthy n now is in e acceptable wgt range. alhamdulillah...

now, time for shopping! hmm...32 ker 30 eh?

2006-07-29T23:34:00.000+08:00

it's amazing how some people make you feel so down, when it's their duty to do just the opposite

a few down, many more to go...i still miss u...

2006-07-23T22:15:00.000+08:00

it's not easy. it really isnt. life doesnt get harder than this. but i know it's gonna be. i know Allah will push me to a point where i never thought i will reach. i'm sure that He is gonna challenge me until i am the strongest that i can ever be. mentally, physically, academically and in every aspect of my life. yes ppl, i realise that my future is the biggest hurdle i'm going to face.

but pls, i'm tired. i'm sooo exhausted. yes i know i can get thru this. with Rina, my family and my friends by my side. it's a fact that i got thru a few hurdles before. problem with my confidence, problem with my studies, problems with my parents, finding out who i really am. those stuff are nothing lah compared to this. but i know i have it in me to jump over this hurdle. and yes, i have every confidence that life would be much better after that. much much better than what i'm going thru now.

just now i made myself a cup of teh. very nice, sweet, 2 packets in 1 cup of teh. i put it aside and continued to finish washing the very dirty dishes. while washing, Rina opened the fridge and started making a fuss. she was trying to reach for something and kept moaning "Rina nak...Rina nak..". i remained calm and told her patiently that Mama will help her as soon as she finishes. so ok, the dishes were done, i helped Rina put her cereal in a bowl, i grabbed my teh and settled down in front of the tv. Rina being her kaypoh-self of course asked for sips of teh. me being in my malas-nak-layan-pasal-nak-dier-tido-cepat-pasal-nak-habiskan-lessonplan-mode gave in to her. cut the story short, Rina dropped the cup, teh spilled on the tilam and i blew my top off.

and me being soft-hearted and bad-tempered ALWAYS regret blowing my top off. feeling overwhelmed, i stopped for a moment and thought of who to call. but at last, i kissed Rina and reassured her that Mama doesnt hate her. i sat down and decided to blog. i explained to her that it's very difficult for Mama and that if she behaves this way every day, Mama will be very tired. of course Rina doesnt understand a word i said. but yeah, i tried. maybe 1 day she'll understand. maybe...

oh, and i have 4 observations to go. which means i have an ob every day of the week. except for my last day. i hope ah. practicum sucks lah...

Ya Allah, ampunilah segala dosa-dosaku. Jauhikanlah syaitan daripadaku dan berilah iman kepadaku. Ya Allah, aku hanyalah hambamu yg lemah. Beriku kekuatan dan tunjuklah jalan yg benar.

Al-fateha untuk Haji Rahim bin Hassan.
Atuk, Nana masih rindukan Atuk. Semalam Nenek ceritakan Atuk selalu dukung Nana bila Nana masih di kindergarten. Bila akan kita bertemu lagi? Bila lagi Nana boleh cium tangan Atuk dan peluk Atuk? Kenapa mesti Atuk pergi tinggalkan kami? Nana belum sempat cakap Nana sayangkan Atuk.

i have to stop. i cant see the words thru the tears in my eyes. i read it somebody's blog that she always salam her husband and seek forgiveness from him every night before they go to sleep. why didnt i do that before? now i'll never have the chance.

get ur facts rite people!

2006-07-17T14:13:00.000+08:00

Materazzi, 32, told Gazetta dello Sport: 'I held his shirt for a few seconds only, then he turned to me and talked to me, jeering. He looked at me with a huge arrogance and said, 'If you really want my shirt I'll give it to you afterwards'. I replied with an insult, that's true.'
(Sarcasm by Zizou, Honesty by Marco)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He has denied, however, some of the more vile insults referring to his wife or sister or calling him a terrorist.
'It was one of those insults you're told dozens of times and that you often let fall on a pitch,' Materazzi said.
'I did not call him a terrorist. I am not a cultured person and I don't even know what an Islamist terrorist is.'
He added: 'For me the mother is sacred, you know that.'
(why? read below)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Materazzi himself, who scored the equaliser for Italy on Sunday, made a statement of his own while Zidane was speaking on French television.

'I didn't mention anything about religion, politics or racism,' he said. 'I didn't insult his mother. I lost my mother when I was 15 years old and still get emotional when I talk about it.
'Naturally, I didn't know that his mother was in hospital but I wish her all the best. 'Zidane is my hero and I have always admired him a lot.'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Final note: Marco has nothing to lose while Zizou has his reputation to keep. Think about that people.

Source: Soccernet World Cup 2006

p.s.- while i still LOVE my Ricardo Carvalho, Rooney is right. He didnt do it purposely. I have seen the repeat a lot of times and read his explanation. There was no way he could have known Carvalho's unmentionables were lying just behind him. And as Rooney said, if he were doing it intentionally, Carvalho would still be in the hospital now. so FIFA, open ur eyes BIGGER.

how to sing 'we are the champions' in italian eh?

2006-07-10T05:42:00.000+08:00

1. i woke up during halftime. dammit!

2. 2nd half was great. my heart almost stopped a few times but yeah, Buffon held on. phew!

3. alamak, extra time.

4. bodohnyerrrrr Zidane. such a fantastic football career ended with a headbutt because he cannot contain his anger.

5. alamak, penalty shootout!

6. but Shera says tt France is in trouble because there are no more good players left to take the penalties. i told myself not to have high hopes because i know that anything can happen in a penalty shootout.

7. tt handsome french (i dont know how to spell his name) missed his shot. i think he was aiming for the top corner. but oppss, aiming was a bit off.

8. grosso scores the winning goal!!!!

9. ok, it took like 5 seconds for me to 'register' tt my Italians juz won the World Cup.

10. 5 seconds later, woohoooooooo! yesssSSSSAH!!! i opened the balcony and screamed. i screamed out of my master bedroom window. juz in case not everybody in choa chu kang knew tt Italy are CHAMPIONS. heh.

11. i jumped arnd (literally!). i couldnt help it, was too full of energy.

12. watched them get their medals and lift up the trophy. my tears welled up. i have no reasons to back this up but hell, they really deserve it. esp e 'veteran' stars, namely del piero, totti n inzaghi. totti went up wif e Italian flag covering his head. the commentators were wondering which player it was. haha.

13. i'm gonna wear my Italy jacket EVERY DAY!!

14. abt 10 mins after, e Italians juz finished their 8th lap of honour. heh.

15. if i dont stop blogging now, i'll be late for school. k bye!

1st (bad)impression

2006-07-09T03:06:00.000+08:00

before i start, no offence to my friends. it wasnt ur fault.
i went to esplanade today happy. i wore the baju i planned to wear and since it was gonna be my 1st time in the theatre, naturally i was excited. Rina was in her usual moods i.e. suka2, happy to be outside with her mama n her nenek.
we wanted to go in 1st. but was stopped by the usher. i felt irritated bcos i knew tt Rina could go in. why the hell were they so 'ngada-ngada'?? i said "if my daughter cant go in, tt means me n my mother cant too. so we bought the tickets for nothing?? n we're juz wasting our money??" with as much sarcasm as i could.
n we still had to stand there for a while, waiting for them to let us go in. by the time we were given the greenlight, my irratition turned to upset. i told them straight "my friend said children could go in. but yet you initially didn't let us go in. i think you people must have a little more communication" with a harsh tone.
when the usher(a different one) saw Rina, he asked the EXACT same qn "how old is the child?" i had to explain tt the management allowed us to go in. haiyor.....why are they so inconsistent?? i expected better from the people who runs our national icon, the 'durian'.
so yeah, we went in. n had to climb THREE flights of stairs. apparently we could have taken an escalator. BUT, the usher didnt tell us. !!! i sat for a while den had to go out to pass tickets. wen i came back, the door was already closed n i had to wait for an interval before i could go in. i pleaded with the usher at the door. i said my daughter will cry if i dont go in. STILL he didnt let me in. at last Rina n my mother came out bcos they were ushered out as soon as Rina started crying. but she got worse bcos she wanted to go in. of course the usher didnt allow tt. so Rina continued crying ah. with everybody(read: stupid ppl) watching. "eh hello! u wanna look?? den fine, YOU make her stop crying ah. if not, den ur juz a KEPO!"
so e interval came, n we went in. my 1st thought was "finally i can enjoy the concert. phew..." BUTTTT Rina started crying again. at 1st it was crying. den i heard shhh! from everywhere. heartless people! den she started screaming. even more shhh! from the people ARND us. "ya allah.....as if i can help it lah. i'm supposed to juz 'mute' the volume izzit?! freaking freaks!" n once again, we were ushered out. wen the usher came to us, before he could say anything, i was like "ya ya i know. we're going out NOW!"
end of story, we didnt go back in. we left. Rina was happier. we watched a performance at the waterfront which was FREE. den we had dinner at 2hot halal cafe. den we walked arnd for a bit while waiting for my father to pick us up.
moral of the story: we wasted almost $48. and i expected BETTER treatment/service from the ESPLANADE. it's supposed to be a national icon. the ushers/management are representing Singapore who the foreigners who may come for any show. but of course i'm suuuurrreee foreigners get different treatment. read: better. i am VERY disappointed n considering writing to the straits time abt this.
p.s.-my father paid for the tickets. so i'm not upset abt the money. i REALLY wanted to watch a concert tonight.

delapan hari seminggu

2006-07-04T01:40:00.000+08:00

1st week of practicum...how am i doing? i have mixed feelings. it's like every day is e 1st day. know wat i mean??

mon-came rite on time. luckily not late. din expect prayers to be so long. national anthem den pledge den school song den 1st prayer den 2nd prayer den 3rd prayer. i was beginning to tremble bcos i have weak knees. had to 'control' myself. i thought i had already prepared myself but it was still a culture shock for me.

tues-came much earlier than i wanted to. i was already in sch when raihan was waiting for e bus. haha...i tink i got paranoid after e previous day. everything was normal, except for e fact tt i STILL cant get used to 'it'. called nenek during recess. so nice to hear her voice. met raihan n dayanah after sch. went shopping @ far east plaza. plan to use robinsons voucher aborted.

wed-a priest came to lead them in e 'prayer after meals'. was quite taken aback to see a priest in sch. but yeah, it IS a catholic sch. they say prayers b4 classes, b4 recess, after recess and b4 dismissal. had my 1st music observation. wah, these p5 boys eh, dunno how to take music seriously. they treat music lesson as e half-an-hr to talk! they better watch out wen i'm e one teaching. during contact time, a senior teacher led e catholic teachers in a prayer for a full 10mins b4 e meeting started. !!!!

thurs-was telling myself tt fri is juz e next day so tt i will have SOME energy in me. got to know my p2 eng n maths classes better. already can recognise some of them by name. specifically e naughty ones and e gifted ones. dis boy came up to me n said "cher, how u know my name ah?" i was like "err...i read ur nametag..." kids ah. so cute.

fri-yay! long weekend ahead. had some complications in my timetable but it was quickly sorted out. my CTs are such nice ladies u noe. a boy in my p2 eng class finally mustered up e courage to ask "cher, why r u always arnd during our eng lessons?" i told him i was gonna teach them soon n tt i chose dis class bcos e pupils need to be disciplined. after tt he shut up. haha...i hope he passed e msg arnd. i wan e whole class to know tt i mean business! met raihan after sch. finally used a $50 voucher. bought 2 skirts. nice. i loike! thanx eh raihan. bumped into other NIE frens @ causeway. joined them @ macs for a while den went hm.

sat-went back to school to watch mly dance practice. e instructor is soooo garang. remind me to story u all abt her 1 day eh. den balik nenek house. ibu brought rina over. aper lagi, enjoy lah budak 3 tu. even bathed together. now they even have matching watches. haha...

sun-whole day @ hm. enuff said.

mon-went out with raihan n fana. finally went to mindcafe. yay! den joined parents, rina n nenek for dinner @ banana leaf. e food is fantastic! n e indian waiters are so nice. even helped us take pictures.

e weeks' photos HERE

p.s.-i like dis song(title) by syuga! so cute.

a picture says a thousand words

2006-07-02T10:04:00.000+08:00

Ferdinand was devastated to lose on penalties to the Portuguese after a goalless 120 minutes in Gelsenkirchen, when Wayne Rooney was sent off in the second-half.

Ferdinand said: 'To lose on penalties again is sickening but the lads put a great effort in. It just wasn't to be. We didn't falter with 10 men. Even with 10 men we were the team who created the best chances.'

Frank Lampard admitted he broke down in tears after England's exit which came at the end of a disappointing tournament for the Chelsea midfielder.

He said: "It is the worst feeling I've ever experienced. I don't want to talk too much and I am devastated. I cried a couple of times at the end of the game.
The World Cup is the ultimate. Deep down I really believed we could go all the way....the tears were there.
The worst thing about it is we thought this was going to be our time with the players we had and I thought we produced our best performance of the tournament against Portugal.
We showed a lot of guts and even with 10 men we went at them and went for the win. We didn't sit back and hope for penalties and extra-time."

it hurts...it's very painful...

2006-07-02T02:04:00.000+08:00

last nite, i fell asleep while watching e 1st half of e germany vs argentina match. i missed watching e germans beat my argentinians. needless to say, i also din watch my italians play. a part of me was heartbroken bcos i sacrificed 2 nites of football(i'm in e morning session btw) and was sooo looking forward to watching e 1st 2 matches of e quarter-finals. but it was entirely my fault and i couldnt do anything abt it anyway.

juz arnd 4 hrs ago, i started watching e portugal vs england match with high hopes. dont ask me why but i really felt tt england was going to perform tonite. n they did. even without their captain. but yet it wasnt enough.
a. e only reason why rooney was sent off = he suppposedly pushed ronaldo
b. why rooney pushed ronaldo = ronaldo happened to be at e 'scene'
c. why ronaldo was at e 'scene'= bcos he's such a mat kepo!
d. therefore, e ONLY reason why rooney was sent off = ronaldo is a mat kepo who doesnt know how to mind his own business
why did he have to rush to e 'scene'? i'm SURE tt he said something to rooney to provoke him. if i were rooney, i would have punched his sickening face. a push is not enough for an ego like ronaldo's.
ok, tt aside. england battled on for e rest of e match, INCLUDING extra time. i am esp proud of e defenders - terry, ferdinand, a. cole n p.neville. there was a controversial penalty not given when lennon was brought down. but yeah, like e referee cares rite. i will NEVER forget horacio elizondo's face.
in e end, it came down to penalties. dammit! it's bad ah bcos anybody who supports england knows how bad they are at penalties. but nvm, at least my boys still had a chance. when lampard missed, my hopes shattered. i knew if we wanted to win this, we would need a miracle. then viana missed n hargreaves scored. ok ok, maybe a miracle was happening! but it went downhill frm then on. e guy with e sickeningly sickening face scored e winning penalty.
my heart broke(again) but what happened after tt crushed it. ferdinand was crying. as in facedown-disappointed-heart-breaking-crying. dis is e same man who was banned frm playing football n took tt in his stride confidently. n there he was, CRYING. my eyes automatically teared. then e camera shot terry with teary eyes. gerrard had his face between his knees. e whole scene was...i dunno...i cant find a word to describe it.
i end with e words of e one who coached his last game, "...it hurts...it's very painful..." yes eriksson, i know.

support local talents!

2006-06-30T20:24:00.000+08:00

i was just abt to watch e season premiere of Smallville when my father came back and demanded the tv to be changed to channel 6. i was like 'kenapa kanciong sey?!'. rupa-rupanya, the young lions vs home united match was showing live. alermak...sleague lah! ingatkan aper sey...

u see, despite my crazy obsession with soccer(read: epl, world cup, etc.), i dun really 'follow' e sleague. i'm kinda biased ah. then i found out tt baihakki was dating norfasarie. i din watch a single young lions match. ok ok, i AM biased.

so i thought ok lah, watch a bit. since everybody is kinda forced to. my father will never change e channel ah. in almost 10min, i realised tt:-
1. e home united jersey is nice.
2. baihakki is still handsome.
3. aide iskandar's younger bro aedil shahril is good-looking.
4. fandi ahmad got fatter. again.
5. baihakki is still gorgeous.
6. e reason why i stopped watching sleague i.e. aper sajer lah dorang main...!
7. i still don't know why my father is sooooo into sleague.
8. baihakki's hair looks nice.

75min: young lions 2 home united 3

very good(read: bad) timing

2006-06-25T23:31:00.000+08:00

This just out:
“Earlier this year, after much soul searching, Kevin Richardson came to us and told us that he had decided to leave the group and pursue other interests. He gave his blessing to continue the music without him.We have no intention of replacing Kevin, and the door will always be open for him to return to the Backstreet Boys. We wish him the all the best in his future endeavors.This weekend we are returning to the studio to begin the follow-up to Never Gone, and will see you later this year with a new album.”
-Nick Carter, Howie Dorough, Brian Littrell and AJ McLean

Statement from Kevin Richardson
“After 13 years of what can only be described as a dream come true, I have decided that it is time to leave the Backstreet Boys. It was a very tough decision for me but one that was necessary in order to move on with the next chapter of my life. Howard, Brian, Alex and Nick will always be my little brothers and have my utmost love and support. I would like to thank the Backstreet fans for all the beautiful memories we have shared together and look forward to including you in the next phase of my life. I wish my brothers continued success and look forward to their new album.”
-Kevin

n Rina is down wif chicken pox since yesterday.

i am sad.

hols are over. n 2moro's e 1st day of practicum.

double sad.

i noe dis leaving a boyband thingy is normal. but e 1st guy 2 leave juz HAD 2 b my favourite one. i've loved him ever since i bought e 1st album. still remember going 2 HIS profile n gushing over it. those dark eyes, tt dark hair, tt sexy deep voice.

triple sad.

oh, did i mention tt Rina has chicken pox?

sad x 1000000

pathetic, i noe.

2006-06-22T05:45:00.000+08:00

i viewed an old fren's profile on frenster juz now. sumhow i began tinking abt my past. but i aint sad or anything. i've accepted who i was. n tt made me who i am now.

rite 4rm e start, i was a very insecure child. tt explains my sucky experience in pri sch. i desperately needed 2 feel 'accepted'. so i hung out wif a clique. i cant remember exactly wat happened but i was kinda deserted. me being e blur sotong i was, i din realise it until end of yr wen my ex-clique members wrote sarcastic nasty notes in e diary i was passing arnd 4 my classmates 2 write down a little momento. i was like "oh begini rupanyer wat they tink of me"
so in p6, naturally i got into a diff clique. things were great. we hung out after sch. i always balik rumah 1 of e girls @ cck. we used 2 go 2 e toilet 2gether n fuss abt our hair n everything. den 1 day, i was sabo-ed by 1 of them. i tink she got jealous abt me being close to e other 2. it's a long story...@ e end, e other 2 sided her n once again, i got deserted.

next was sec sch. after my pri sch experience, i was scared shit sey. luckily my mother's colleague's fren got e same class as me in sec1. she was frm dazhong also but i din really talk to her b4. so we hit it off n got along so well. until now, i dun tink we've ever argued b4. she was a gd fren. not like e b*tches in pri sch. i got 2 noe a whole grp of mly girls. we only had 4 express classes so all of us can make up 1 mly class. a few of e girls are still in touch wif me now. i den joined e band out of passion 4 music n i havent regretted it since. finally i was part of a 'family' n it felt so good. my band family will always have a place in my heart, esp e trombone section. my sec1 til sec4 classmates were e best classmates 1 cud ever have. we were so close-knit. once again, i was part of a 'family' even though i was e only mly in sec3 n 4. even e chinese guys were close 2 me. a certain few ah. me n e chinese girls were literally a family. we had nicknames 4 each other. i tink i was e 'mum'. den i had a 'daughter'. n many many many 'grandaughters'. i totally 4got abt my pathetic pri sch life.

den came jc. i tink dis was e hardest challenge in my sch life. i 1st went 2 pjc for my 1st 3 mths study. e environment there was almost like in sec sch. e mlys were sooo close 2gether since there were a limited no. of us. i moved 2 jjc after tt. i had just came out of a fantastic sec sch experience n was ready 4 more. it started off very well. i had 2 close girlfrens. was part of e band family again n pursued my passion 4 dance. den trouble came, i had probs @ hm n was living wif my grandparents. my self-confidence disappeared. i began 2 imagine things, outrageous things. i had mood swings n always jumped 2 e conclusion tt ppl dun like me. i cut my hair short, very short. i accused my own 2 girlfrens of not trying 2 help me wif my life. i cried almost every day. i vomitted everything i ate. yupz, i had bulimia. 1 of my girlfrens stopped talking 2 me bcos she cudnt stop me 4rm vomitting. e other 1 had to repeat her yr1 so for e 3rd time in my life, i was alone again. 1 incident tt i will always remember was wen i walked out of my class party/bbq @ east coast. i was feeling very down tt day but i still went bcos my classmates persuaded me. e girls went to take pics of e ocean. e guys went to rent bikes. n i was 'assigned' e task of 'jaga-ing' e stuff. in my corrupted mind, i concluded tt they took me 4 granted n purposely left me out of their activities. stupid, i noe. so i packed my stuff n left. juz like tt. they called me wen i was already boarding e bus n tried 2 reason things out. e hot babe of e class even downgraded herself juz 2 show me tt nobody is perfect. she told me tt even though she looks hot, she doesnt wear short skirts bcos her thighs are huge. of course @ tt pt of time, nuthing went into my head. i put down e fone n went hm.

after receiving my A level cert, i started relief teaching. tt's wen my confidence came back n my personality tt i now have emerged. in front of e kids, i dun have 2 b self-conscious bcos hell, they're juz kids! they wont tell me tt e cutting of my pants dun fit me or stuff like e lipstick i wear 2day doesnt match my shoes. my colleagues were very friendly ppl who made me feel '@ hm'. so gradually i discarded my old self. i got married, became pregnant n gave birth 2 a beautiful baby. wen i came back 2 teaching wif a fatter body, i din care. i juz bought bigger clothes. my whole life was devoted 2 my baby girl n my adopted 40 children who i love so much.

n now, i am who i am. sumone who've learnt tt life's too short 2 b worrying abt stupid stuff like tt. sumtimes my insecurity comes back haunting me but wif e great frens i have now, y is there a need 2 feel insecure? they're my lovelies, they wont judge me. i'm a confident mother of a 2yr old. i dun mind being laughed @ or made fun bcos of my wgt (damn u faizal!). i speak my mind wen there's a need to n i hold my head up high wen i'm walking (but sumtimes must look down, later fall down how?).

i love my Nenek!

2006-06-22T04:26:00.000+08:00

on Mon, Auntie Dah n family brought Nenek for a surprise visit to rumah Ibu. "Ibu, surprise kan?" k nvm. i woke up to 3 ker 4 missed calls frm rumah yewtee. heard Solehah's voice over e fone den Ibu said, "Auntie Dah bawak Nenek datang sini." aper lagi, i got ready Rina n myself in e fastest time possible!(tu pun lambat jugak ah) and went over.
semua ader ah babe, except Amsyar n Amran. Amran was having a camp @ pulau ubin. wahhh...he so besar already sey. still remember wen he was a cute little boy. now turning 15 in july. he told me last week he was gonna get promoted frm corporal to sergeant during e camp. wahhh...so macho already! nvm, i still have my Amirul. he'll turn 11 2 days before i hit 23. p5 but yet still wan me to suap. eh eh budak ni! tapi actually aku suker :p
it was sooo nice to spend time wif my parents, Fifi (adik aku lah...), Nenek (whom i love wif ALL of my heart) n Auntie Dah's family. needlesstosay, Rina had fun playing wif her little aunts. i have to say tt she's learning a lot frm them wifout realising. she can speak more words now and their role-playing helps too. Solehah will b e 'teacher'. Naziyah n Rina are e 'students'. hehe...so cute lah!

Amirul n me. dis boy eh is too smart for his own good. bijak sungguh!

Solehah, Rina n Naziyah - my fav foto of them =)

p.s. - i call Auntie Dah's husband Uncle Cak. calling 'auntie' n 'uncle' was e 'in' thing back den. i guess e names juz stayed. btw, their real names are Faridah n Ishak.

p.p.s. - Auntie Dah's children call my mum Ibu.

Rina.....where are u.....

2006-06-18T13:21:00.000+08:00

yest, i let my parents brg Rina hm. she gladly went. even said, "Bye Mama..." so ok lah, i thought y not kan? i get sum time by myself. plus i wanna train her to be able to spend nites wifout me.

big mistake. i miss my daughter lah! confiden jer nak train her. i'm e one having separation anxiety! haha. but i noe lah, i need my freedom. so apparently she wasnt a problem. only asked for me @ nite but went back to sleep. i guess it's a step forward. mayb 1 fine day, i can go for trips/holidays wifout her. yeah yeah, i got big dreams, i noe.

i was lying down juz now, face down. felt pain. i guess 'they' miss Rina too. haha. swollen sey. sungguh sakit. tapi firm. i loike. *winkz*

k k, i'll stop talking. Raihan, i can already ur 'sore eyes'. haha.

Rina....where are u....

p.s. - actually i noe lah where she is. lame. i noe.

sumtimes cat steven cross e road also

2006-06-18T02:40:00.000+08:00

guess wat we did 2day? Rina's fav pastime.....

SWIMMING!

we went wif Rina's fav aunties, her 'Cik cik's. plus her Uncle Amirul. we had a great time, though it was sooo hot. hmm...wat do we expect kan? went swimming arnd noon. nasib baik Auntie Dah brought sunblock. thanx eh! played a little match wif Amirul @ e end. i tink he scored more, haha. i'm sooo bad @ throwing e ball far sey. gini tak bole masuk water polo team!

us taking silly shots while waiting for them to fetch us. dorang lambat more than half an hour! Rina soooo happy to be going swimming. n i have no idea where she learnt to stick out her tongue wen taking fotos. tapi cute! hehe...p.s. - tt giraffe cap is hers. she TOLD me to wear it.

if ur wondering wat e heck e title means, click on THIS

sungguh happy dot com

2006-06-16T23:41:00.000+08:00

initial plan: go northpt. eat sakura. bawak Rina jln2. Raihan shopping 4 bag.

final results after our "date" ended: i bought a pair of shoes n a brown bag. Raihan bought 2 pairs of shoes n 3 "pillows", 1 for Rina. "thank u Auntie Ai An!"

haha. lain yg nak shopping. lain yg beli. tapi i loike! my brown flats r so cute. but 1 problem, 1st time ah beli flats. wat do wear 2 match wif them? uh-oh, i need fashion advice...

photos HERE

tap ur turn!

2006-06-14T01:46:00.000+08:00

i've been lazy. even too lazy 2 blog abt my World Cup fever. but Fizah has given me a push by tagging me. Yes ppl, i love being tagged!

3 SCHOOLS I WENT TO

Dazhong Primary School - where most of e girls were total b*tches. not surprisingly, i was an outcast.

Bukit Batok Secondary School - where i had a blasting time being part of the BAND family for 4 yrs. frens frm Bukit Batok Sec will never b forgotten. my teachers too like Mrs Lim, Mdm Yaw n Ms Ngiam.

Jurong Junior College - where i continued my passion 4 music and found my long-lost LOVE 4 dancing. also e time i met my den bf, now husband.

3 THINGS IN MY PURSE/BACKPACK

my things - wallets(card n coins), hp, tissue, comb, make-up pouch, mini perfume, moisturiser.

Rina's things - 3 pampers, extra set of clothes, wet tissue.

extra things(if there is a need to) - camera, a book/elmo/barney/watever tt Rina wants 2 brg along.

3 THINGS I DO WHEN I AM STRESS

cry

go to my grandmother's house. she'll cook watever i wan. i'm still her fav.

tink abt my loved ones whom i've lost. mainly my late grandfather. he used 2 love 2 joke arnd wif me. tt'll make me forget watever tt was bothering me.

3 PLACES I GO ON A DAILY BASIS

sunshine place - 2nd floor

home

school - during term time

3 FAVOURITE FRUITS

papaya

mango

jambu batu

3 NAMES I GO BY

Suliana - my mum. yupz, she uses my full name all e time.

Nana - my dad plus e rest of my family, including extended

Su - my frens

can i add an extra one pls?

Mama - my princess, Rina =)

3 OF MY FAVOURITE FOOD

chicken rice - Rina's fav too!

rice wif tomyam - dah lama tak mkn!

ban mian - banquet jurong pt

3 THINGS I'M WEARING RIGHT NOW

hair clip

nightie - wif stars n stripes on it. it's actually juz an oversizes t-shirt lah, hehe...

erm...my 3 silver earrings?

WHO IS IN THE HOUSE WITH ME?

Rina, me, husband

WHO AM I THINKING OF RIGHT NOW?

husband...haiz...

WHO DID I LAST TALK ON THE PHONE WITH?

husband, wen i was still @ downtown east

WHO DID I SIT WITH DURING MY 5TH PERIOD IN CLASS?

5th period eh? hmmm....like duh! as if i remember sey.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON I TOLD THAT I LOVED?

e light of my life, Khairina Adrienne

WHO DO I WISH I AM WITH RIGHT NOW?

again. husband.

WHO GETS ON MY NERVES MOST IN SCHOOL?

studious ppl who r kiasu in EVERY way. make me feel so unhardworking. bluek!

WHERE IS MY PHONE?

rite in front of me

WHERE DO I SLEEP?

nowadays rarely on my bed. usually on e mastress in front of e tv. hehe...World Cup fever lah...

WHERE IS THE PLACE I TOOK A RIDE TO?

Downtown East - brg Rina watch sesame street

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING I ATE?

chicken rice, a taste of mee hong kong n satay @ simpang bedok after e sesame street show

WHAT COLOUR SHIRT AM I WEARING?

pink n white stripes

WHAT IS THE CLOSEST ITEM TO ME THAT IS BLUE?

my brand new Italy jacket

WHAT DO I LIKE MOST BOUT SCHOOL?

my frens. e real ones of course. NOT e poser ones.

WHAT IS MY FAVOURITE COLOUR?

i have trouble deciding. it was blue, den pink, den green, now purple. i dunno lah!

WHAT DO I WEAR MOST OFTEN JEANS/SHORTS?

during these hols? shorts, cos i'm mostly @ hm.

WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE I WATCHED?

Over e Hedge - wif Rina, Dahlia n her gerl =)

WHEN DID I START SCHOOL?

1988 - K1. last time got no nursery.

WHEN DID I LAST GO THE MALL?

yesterday. we went great world city 1st. den took shuttle 2 town. i bought my new pants @ OG orchard pt.

WHEN DID I LAST BURN SOMETHING?

last week i tink. burned a plastic bowl. while i was cooking, e bowl dropped rite beside e fire. by e time i turned off e gas. e bowl was already half blackened!

3 people to do this

1. Rye Gypsy - ok ,4 u i give chance. but make sure u do dis after u come back 4rm ur "camp".

2. Naf aka mswhiterose - u free kan Naf? besok i nak tgk benda ni dah blogged eh....hehe...

3. Shera PJC - r u reading dis girl?

Chalet @ Aloha - Monday

2006-05-29T01:32:00.000+08:00

Chalet @ Aloha - Tuesday

2006-05-28T22:09:00.000+08:00

cry baby cry!

2006-05-26T10:55:00.000+08:00

i absolutely enjoyed e season finale of American Idol 2006. it beats any previous season finales. my eyes actually watered at certain moments. so cengeng kan?? e finalists/guest singers really took my breath away dis time.

here r juz some of my fav moments...
1) e 6 male finalists singing 2gether. it was soooo nice 2 see my Elliot again. surprisingly Ace sang better. n Kevin aka "chicken little" really impressed me.

2) Elliot's mum winning e "family moment" award. she really deserves it. during e season, my eyes watered everytime she starts crying. cengeng, i noe. me lah, not her. 2 top it all off, Elliot sang wif Mary J Blige. yes, THE Mary J Blige. so cool kan?

3) Mandisa singing confidently when she performed wif e other 5 female finalists. 2 me, it looks as though she's in e finals, NOT Katherine. she's very comfortable in her size. being big really doesnt matter 2 her. she's definitely MY American Idol.

4) Bucky singing "Raindrops keep falling on my head". it was nice. he was my 2nd fav, after Elliot of course.

5) e legendary Diane Warrick (did i spell it rite?) singing on stage LIVE. she's amazingly amazing. took my breath away a few times, esp wen she sang "That's wat frens r for" wif e finalists.

6) e singer formerly known as Prince. enuff said.

n my most fav moment has gotta b...
7) e Clay Aiken surprise. i cried u noe. yes yes, i'm cengeng. i noe tt guy sings horribly but he really deserved e surprise. it takes a lot of guts 2 sing in front of millions of ppl, but he confidently said "ok!". n e expression on his face wen he saw Clay Aiken is priceless lah!

okies, tt's it. i promise tt dis will b my last entry abt american idol k? but i may mention Elliot frm time 2 time. i'm sooo gonna buy his cd wen it comes out.

p.s.- Rina shrieks "Daddy!" everytime Ryan appears on tv. dun ask me y. hehe...

couch(i.e. tilam) potato plus a whole lot of THANX!

2006-05-22T17:06:00.000+08:00

i've been lazy. very very lazy. sooo lazy tt i din even tell e whole world how sad/disappointed i felt wen Elliot had e least no. of votes n was sent hm. my Elliot u noe. my Elliot who moves my heart everytime he sings. now it's down 2 e sex bomb n e crazy fella. i'm sure Ryehan is rooting 4 her Taylor. n 4 once(in American Idol 2006), i am imitating her. i DO NOT wan Katherine 2 win. i noe she's beautiful, sexy, bonds well wif audience wen she gazes into e camera, etc. BUT there have been times wen she din live up 2 her standard. n hence, i DO NOT tink she deserves 2 win. go Taylor go!
next, my chalet was a blast! albeit e probs i had @ hm. e family nite was quite boring bcos everybody including me, my nenek, 1 uncle n all e makciks/cousins were tuning in 2 DIA's last episode. so e bbq macam terbiar gitu. Ibu desperately wanted her desperate housewives but unfortunately everybody else including me, my nenek, 1 uncle n all e makciks/cousins voted 4 DIA. we din regret it 1 bit. it was sooo satisfying 2 c Fifi going down down DOWN. padan dgn muka dia! abih si monyet Andi tu cam maner??
e frens nite was even better! my food committee/Rina's pirated mums i.e. fana, naf, raihan n dayanah arrived early as promised. followed by jannah who brought her tasty cheesecake plus her cutey niece, Aira. fizah n kai arrived soon after. den faizal, jabbar n sufian. oh ya, kai went 2 fetch his gf syikin n brought her e chalet. nice girl, friendly. kai started e fire going easily n viola! e bbq is ready! yazid aka jannah's bf was e expert bbq chef 4 tt nite. e food n e company were great. i love my frens. dgr tu, I LOVE U GUYS & GALS lah! we ate, chatted, joked, ate, gossiped, ate, joked, sang songs, etc. not forgetting e SURPRISE we had 4 dayanah. too bad iffah couldnt b there. iffah, where r u?! thank u sufian 4 brging ur guitar. it was nice of u 2 wan 2 teach Rina. wen she's a bit bigger, u'll b her 1st music instructor k? n thank u faizal 4 playing it. n thank u 2 e others who sang along. jadi cam campfire pulak. n thanx 2 everyone 4 coming.
now abt my probs. things r fine, not well though. i wanna apologise 2 my frens who have been trying 2 help but either i dun pick up calls or dun reply smses. e fact is i've been keeping 2 myself lately. wen i need a listening ear or shoulder 2 cry, u guy/gals will b e 1st ppl i turn 2 k? thank u 4 asking how i am, 4 e concern, thank u 4 caring. aku ok. kalau tak ok pun, terpaksa jugak ok 4 Rina.
e chalet pics will b uploaded soon k? my internet now going crazy ah. bila internet dah siuman balik, e pics will b up. i promise!

i dun wanna lose my house!

2006-05-14T14:00:00.000+08:00

i tink it's 4 real dis time. although i've been wanting dis ever since e 1st "incident", i must say tt i'm not really looking 4ward 2 it. suddenly flashbacks of good/great memories played inside my mind. argh! i hate being in e grey area. it's either yes/no. it's either stay here forever or get out!

all mixed up!

2006-05-10T03:09:00.000+08:00

k, i've got a few things 2 update, hence e above title...
maklumlah...dah lama akak tak update oi...

SATU
k 1st, epl is finally over. i love love LOVE my previous entry! chelsea lost its last 2 games to help blackburn n newcastle gain pts while maintaining its reputation(hence e single goal only). murinho does have a heart after all... :)

Final Table:
Chelsea
Man Utd
Liverpool
Arsenal
Spurs
Blackburn
Newcastle
Bolton
West Ham
Wigan
Everton
Fulham
Charlton
Boro
Man City
Aston Villa
Portsmouth
Birmingham
West Brom
Sunderland

Chelsea was ahead by an amazing 8 pts. top of e table 4rm e beginning till e end. oh btw, Ballack is highly reported to be transfering to Chelsea next season. yeah, Ryehan will support Chelsea! rite babe? ;)

DUA
k, next news. my dear dear Elliot was in e bottom 2 last week! omg, wat telah happen?? i absolutely definitely whole-heartedly LOVED his rendition of Home (Micheal Buble). korang ni pekak eh?? vote 4 Elliot lah! (korang as in ppl in e US ler) siapa2 ader fren/sedara/scandal/watever lah in e US, pls pls pretty pls send my regards n TELL THEM TO VOTE 4 ELLIOT. thanx eh :)
p.s. - i'm talking abt American Idol. i tink i forgot to mention tt in my excitement.

TIGA
moving on, news no. 3 is......Rina has a new bed! best kan kan kan? but of course she hasnt e courage to sleep in it alone yet. gotta "train" her to be independent. insya-allah...she was so happy to see e new bed. now everytime she wants milk, it's straight to her bed. cute kan...anak aku dah besar lah. i miss her infant-baby-toddler days... :(

HABIS
k lastly, an update on my hols. nope, i have yet to go out n unwind fully. Rina sakit, den i sakit, den new bed, den bro staying over. bz nyer....! padahal holiday sey....

YES AHHHH!!!!

2006-04-29T21:53:00.000+08:00

we are the champions my fren....
we'll keep on fighting till the end....
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS
NO TIME FOR LOSERS
CAUSE WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS.....OF THE LEAGUE!

we did it, AGAIN! watching e whole match was sooo worth it. Gallas, Joe Cole and Carvalho - you made my day. hell, you guys made my whole long weekend. all those ppl who (tried to) demotivate me/Chelsea wenever i wear the jersey @ school, EAT UR HEART OUT!! i am sooo happy. yes ah yes ah YES AH!!!

this would never be possible without my special boys...
(in order of whoever i can remember eh)
Terry (e BEST captain ever!)
Lampard
Cech (u rock!)
Gallas (e goal was beautiful!)
Makelele
Carvalho (MY hensem boy *wink*)
Duff
Robben
Joe Cole (u look better with hair lah)
Essien
Geremi
Ferreira (ur e MOST gd-looking, serious!)
Maniche
Drogba
Crespo
Gudjohnsen

not forgetting...
Del Horno
Huth (i will always remember u as my BF *wink*)
Glen Johnson
Shaun Wright-Phillips
Cudicini (e more gd-looking goalkeeper)
k, tu jer lah yg i remember

SPECIAL thanx to the SPECIAL one
Jose Mourinho

aaahhh....did i mention tt i'm happy? i'm SOOO HAPPY!
oh ya, the score was 3-0 =)

wouldn't it be nice?

2006-04-24T17:36:00.000+08:00

i wish we can be like these pictures every day.

i'm trying to make this work. i really am. i hope you are to.

Rina....Rina...

2006-04-18T12:42:00.000+08:00

ok, i got a confession 2 make. yes, these are screen captures 4rm e Anugerah VCD. or shall i say MY Anugerah VCD. yupz, i bought it as soon as it came out. and i admit tt i was crazy, if not infatuated, over them. e key word here is WAS eh.
tt said, here comes e reason 4 dis entry. Rina is NOW crazy, if not infatuated, over e Anugerah boys. e Pop Yey Yey boys, according to her. dis video of them singing dis particular song is now on repeat mode. not tt i mind actually (i tink a little bit of e craziness/infatuation is still in me), but still! after a while, e song (n their faces) starts 2 get irritating. but apparently Rina is immune 2 tt. elok lah tu.
so my dear darlings (read: NIE peeps), pls excuse me if i start 2 sing dis particular Pop Yey Yey song. dun blame me eh, e song is now engraved in my head.

because why?

2006-04-13T02:24:00.000+08:00

i buy u clothes tt i noe would look gd on u, bcos i dun love u.
i fit my plans 2 adapt 2 ur schedule, bcos i dun love u.
i treat u 2 a nice dinner, bcos i dun love u.
i cry wenever u do those "stupid" things again, bcos i dun love u.
i feel jealous, bcos i dun love u.
i feel happy wen u come hm early, bcos i dun love u.
i dress up 4 u (although u dun notice), bcos i dun love u.
i cry wen i recall wat u've done in e past, bcos i dun love u.
i'm always over e moon wenever we go "dating" (although i dun show it), bcos i dun love u.

i married u, bcos i dun love u.
yupz, u were rite. memang i tak sayang u langsung!

Weekend @ Sentosa

2006-04-11T23:20:00.000+08:00

while waiting 4 them 2 fetch us - tak sangka Rina noes how 2 do crazy poses too! hehe :)

otw 2 sentosa - see our luggage? tt's juz mine n Rina's. n yupz, she insisted on brging her pink umbrella.

e 1st nite - e spread was mostly cooked by my mum. Nenek cooked too. tt's me wif her @ e bottom. Rina & Fifi(my bro) were e 1st 2 sleep.

e 2nd day - mamang(2nd uncle) & family came over. day was mostly spent swimming in e pool n @ e beach. realised tt Rina is scared of sand. yupz, it was her 1st time @ a beach. so she either had 2 b carried or b in e water. aper sey. glad 2 spend quality time wif mamang's family cos we're not really tt close.

e 2nd nite - we wanted 2 brg Nenek watch musical fountain. while waiting 2 be let in 4 e show, we were entertained by "fire-eaters". they ate fire, breathed fire & played wif it. i took a foto wif them @ e end of e performance. but foto spoilt by e all e smoke. bluergh!

n 2 end it off, some scenery shots i took 4rm our resort room. we could see e sunset. it was beautiful...

frens? wat frens?

2006-04-11T17:45:00.000+08:00

i have quite a few frens. some i can even regard as close frens. but wen it came 2 a difficult time, i can only tink of 2 who i could call. i was so "lost" n felt tt i needed 2 talk 2 sumbody. i was crying every few minutes bcos i knew in my situation, nothing else can b done.

NOT both 2 were able 2 b there 4 me. 2 e sumone who i could turn 2, thank u very much. u've already done enuff by listening 2 my tears n fears. thanx 4 answering my sms. thanx 4 letting me call u. thanx 4 trying 2 calm me down. thanx 4 trying 2 make e situation better. u noe who u are babe.

why do u love me?

2006-04-11T13:25:00.000+08:00

if no reasons can answer e qn above, is it still love?
if e reason for staying is juz 4 e sake of it, is it still love?
if e reason for not leaving is juz bcos there's no choice, is it still love?

i thought love was much more than this.
i thought love was abt making a choice, instead of having no choice.

maybe i thought wrong.

wat e hell??

2006-04-07T17:41:00.000+08:00

u ajak shopping. i din wanna disappoint u so i went. even though i'm broke.
u ajak gi spa. i din wanna disappoint u so i went. even though i dun really need it.
u ajak gi makan dinner at a restaurant. i din wanna cause a strain in our frenship. so i agreed. even though i was already at my last dollars.
u gave a sarcastic remark abt me being late. so i took cab. even though i knew i only had enuff 4 dinner. u arrived later than me.
n e list goes on....
i'm sick of adapting 2 YOUR lifestyle. so i quit. even though we were supposed best frens.

American Idol

2006-04-06T20:53:00.000+08:00

i’ve decided on my definite fav i.e. Elliot. he’s not gorgeous but he’s sweet n sincere. if he were singing “If Tomorrow Never Comes” to me, i wud have fallen in love. Definitely. even though he’s short. heh.

i’ve also decided on my least fav. Ace. dun get me wrong girls, i DO realize tt he’s hellavu gorgeous guy. BUT i tink tt’s all tt he has. looks. wen he’s singing, he tries too hard(to me tt is) n i hate tt. bluek!

ok, dis is WEIRD. i’m loving e shortest guy n hating e most gorgeous guy. i must b losing my mind!

some quotes from last nite’s performances….(i love e country theme!)
“…if tomorrow never comes…will she noe how much i love her…” - elliot
“ ...n tell me now...how do i live wifout u..." - paris

p.s.- i loved bucky's song. anyone can tell me e title??

e (very belated)trip-to-batu-pahat entry

2006-04-04T20:13:00.000+08:00

we went 4 a short trip 2 batu pahat on e 25th of march i.e. last last weekend. yupz, very delayed entry kan? atuk(tamp) missed eating e nasi briyani there which apparently is soooo sedap according to e (tamp)ppl. my verdict? cam biasa jer...nuthing special lah.

Rina goes to e library n watches Ice Age 2!

2006-03-30T08:54:00.000+08:00

Mama, read to me this book!

I'm putting back e book in its place, Mama

needless to say, she had fun @ e lib. picking a bk, flipping thru it n putting it back. she kept repeating dis 4 i tink 10 times. i felt so happy juz 2 observe her. sigh...anak aku dah besar dah. tak lama lagi dah pri sch den sec sch den ader bf den nak kahwin. ok ok, i'm going too far.

wanted 2 share a conversation tt used 2 happen back in e dating days. entah kenapa, yest bole teringat. haha.

me: sayang, kita turun kat maner?

him: turun kat bus-stop ler...

me (feeling a bit irritated): ye lar. bus-stop maner??

him (dgn selambanyer): bus-stop tepi jln ler...

me:!!!!

last nite went to brg Rina watch ice age 2. she's been in a movie theatre b4, 2 times b4 i tink. but still i was a bit worried ah. scared she'll buat hal inside or sumthing. as it turns out, she absolutely loved it! 4 e 1st time, she stayed awake 4 e whole movie! i'm glad she had fun. i'm more glad tt WE had fun as a family. awww....

woah, dis entry is damn long. i wrote tt much?? k k, enuff enuff. gotta get ready 4 sch now. n hopefully a badminton session as well. =)

i'm in love wif dis song

2006-03-28T22:08:00.000+08:00

when you love someone

you'll do anything

you'll do all the crazy things

that you can't explain

you'll shoot the moon

put out the sun

when you love someone

you'll deny the truth

believe a lie

there'll be times that you'll believe

that you can really fly

but you're lonely nights

have just begun

when you love someone

you'll feel it deep inside

and nothin else

can ever change your mind

when you want someone

when you need someone

when you love... someone...

when you love someone

you'll sacrifice

you'd give it everything you got

and you won't think twice

you'd risk it all

no matter what may come

when you love someone

you'll shoot the moon

put out the sun

when you love someone

Bryan Adams

a mum, a wife, a house owner, a student

2006-03-19T11:58:00.000+08:00

i'm Rina's mother. i have 2 make sure she gets 2 sch every day. have 2 make sure she gets hm every day. have 2 make sure she eats all her meals. have 2 make sure her diaper is changed wenever it's soiled. have 2 make sure i read her fav bks regularly. have 2 make sure she's learning n developing. n lain2 yg sewaktu dgnnyer...
i'm Khairil Zam's wife. i have 2 jaga hati dier. have 2 cook 4 him. have 2 make him happy. have 2 be loving n caring 2wards him. have 2 dress up 4 him. have 2 have sex wif him(not complaining though!). have 2 make sure he doesnt stray. n lain2 yg sewaktu dgnnyer...
i have my own house. i do e laundry, wash e dishes, sweep e floors, clean e bathrms, buy e groceries, mop e floors n lain2 yg sewaktu dgnnyer...
i'm a student. i need 2 go to sch, print out notes, do my tutorials, revise 4 tests/exams, complete my assignments, go 4 project meetings n lain2 yg sewaktu dgnnyer...
so wen do i find time juz 2 b myself?? not a mum, not a wife, not a house owner, not a student

XBOX 360 Launch Party!

2006-03-16T21:36:00.000+08:00

more photos here
we went e above event last nite. pre-ordered e xbox 360 so we got invites. well, party was good. not great though. only had mineral water/coke/heineken so it's quite obviously wat we drank. e entertainment was great though. denise keller 4rm mtv hosted e event. n xbox 360 games were all over. hubby went straight 4 fifa 2006. played n played n played. i was so damn bored so kept taking fotos. finally managed 2 collect e xbox 360 we ordered @ 10pm. yupz, they made us wait THAT long.
while we were having fun @ the party(or @ least hubby was), my parents brought rina 2 disney on ice. she LOVED it. ibu said she kept saying "bye mickey mouse, bye mickey mouse" n blowing kisses until outside e indoor stadium. hehe...cute lah anak aku.

walking down memory lane...

2006-03-14T23:04:00.000+08:00

was looking thru my old fotos @ my (now-defunct)geocities webby. managed 2 find e fotos i took wif my very 1st classes wen i was relief-teaching as a malay teacher. my p1s shld b in p5 now. my p4s shld already b sec2 teenagers. n my p5s shld b big sec3 boys & girls. i wonder if they still remember me. wonder how they look now. wonder wat kind of boys & girls they have become. did i make an impact in their lives?
i know i made e correct move wen i got into dis career. i know i want 2 werk wif kids. i know i wanna b a good role model 4 e children of our future. so let dis b my motivation 2 complete my assignments.
u can do dis Suliana - tink of all e children u gonna b able 2 teach if u pull thru dis

2006-03-13T23:48:00.000+08:00

after soccer, we went 2 eat @ al-ameen woodlands. as u can see, it quickly became a ambik-byk2-gambar-esp-gambar-rina session. our resident fotographer aka ryehan even taught rina a few poses i.e. angry, bored, sleepy, cute n sweet. sungguh kiut anak aku kan kan kan?

2006-03-13T23:26:00.000+08:00

another soccer outing, dis time @ cck stadium.
managed 2 drag dayanah & bf along too. err...if u look closely, their (half)faces r featured in e collage. *squints eyes*
ayah & ibu were there too. ibu even made sandwiches sey. cam picnic pulak.
final score: saffc 2 home united 1 - i predicted total goals 3, terror tak i? chey...

2006-03-13T19:12:00.000+08:00

thanx again 2 Ryehan for editing my html. yupz, she put tt pic of Rina there. n yupz, tt IS her fav pic of Rina. n yupz, she was e one who told Rina 2 pose like tt.

2006-03-12T15:16:00.000+08:00

hehe...ok, i did sumthing wrong last nite. noti noti me, cud have got myself n hubby hurt.

i went...

DRIVING!

ok ok, not tt notti lah. n not tt dangerous lah. but still wrong hokay.

critenyer begini...hubby came hm wif a fren's honda civic. by then rina was already asleep. he asked me 2 go down wif him 2 take sumthing in e boot.

i was like, "abih rina??" n he calmly said, "alah, jap jer..." n so i went.

so we reached e car downstairs n he was like, "jom, driving jap." again, i was like, "abih rina???!" again, he calmly said, "alah, jap jer. arnd e carpark jer." n so we went.

we went arnd e blks n as we were almost @ our blk again, e tot suddenly came 2 my mind.

i went, "i nak drive!" n so i did.

managed 2 safely reach our blk n he suggested another round. hmm...rina came 2 mind BUT my "gian" 2 drive took over. n so i kept driving. a few almost-panic moments esp went a motorbike was behind e car (hubby had 2 mention tt 2 me bcos i completely 4got abt looking @ e mirrors!) but all in all, it went ok. yeah!

p.s. - rina was still sleeping soundly wen we went up after e drive.

p.s.s. - i wanna continue taking driving lessons!! bila sey nak start lagi...

2006-03-12T01:53:00.000+08:00

thanx Ryehan for formatting my blog. i love it!

2006-03-11T01:15:00.000+08:00

Mon = black NIE t-shirt

Tues = black Polwatta t-shirt

Wed = black Chelsea jersey

Thurs = black striped shirt

Fri = black v-neck t-shirt

no, i'm not mourning. dis is juz a case of limited wardrobe selection.

i need 2 go shopping!!

2006-03-07T19:21:00.000+08:00

angry? happy? surprised? sad? horny? attitude problem? silly?
The 16 faces of Suliana...

2006-03-03T11:50:00.000+08:00

tt Sun we had kenduri arwah @ Auntie Dah's house. i slept over @ Nenek's house during tt weekend. sigh...i wish i could spend more time with her...

2006-03-02T23:31:00.000+08:00

ok ok, i noe. asik gambar jer kan? dis blog is becoming a foto blog, hehe...
e reasons y i've been posting pics is i've been very bz...and of course i'm lazy too. hehe. school is sooo stressful. starting 2 slowly get into panic mode. been sick lately. still going 2 sch but not 100% healthy. and i hate tt. i absolutely hate not being well. everything tires me nowadays. tt sucks. i need 2 get my fitness level up. but haiz...where got time??
i have 2 say tt i'm grateful 2 have frens. they r my life, besides Rina of course. my frens keep me sane. Rye, Naf, Fana, e music girls, Rosi, e DSM girls, e DSE girls...u girls always make my day. how can i ever go 2 sch wifout laughing wif u girls, wifout cracking lame jokes, wifout making fun of each other, wifout panicking 2gether???
changing e subject, we r still missing u Atuk. Shidah juz msged me tt day bcos she was tinking abt u. we promised each other we will b supportive n comforting if 1 of us starts 2 crumble. Nenek is also missing u badly. She always looks happy wenever i come/sleep over but....

"Nana datang baru Nenek gembira. Smlm/hari tu asik sedih jer. Kalau Bibik keje, Nenek jer sorang kat rumah...."

2006-03-02T23:27:00.000+08:00

The Zam Family 2006

2006-02-23T01:46:00.000+08:00

Kallang Stadium
Singapore vs Iraq
Family & Friends
Singapore 2 Iraq 0
Supper
Cab Ride
Home

2006-02-17T02:23:00.000+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day
Darling Hubby
Beautiful Princess
Esplanade
2Hot Halal Cafe
Riverboat Ride
Chijmes
Home

2006-02-11T02:04:00.000+08:00

What can I say? Chelsea Chelsea!! *wink*

2006-02-06T06:25:00.000+08:00

below are photos 4rm our Chingay outing.

more here... http://kzsuliana.multiply.com/photos

2006-02-05T00:12:00.000+08:00

daddy wearing new shirt bought by mama

2006-02-05T00:11:00.000+08:00

khairul + khairil + khairil = ??

2006-02-05T00:10:00.001+08:00

beautiful pink flowers on a float

2006-02-05T00:10:00.000+08:00

family shot - eh, why is rina sleeping??

2006-02-05T00:09:00.000+08:00

couple shot - pink was e colour of e day

2006-02-05T00:08:00.000+08:00

mama & rina

my happiness, my anger, my depression - my life

nuthing lasts forever

i'm ranting. dun read.

rated r(a). who cares abt my language.

t.g.i.f.

as promised...

home alone

sexcited!

for e babes in my life

long pause....

yes u, i miss u

foot update

Aidilfitri 06 Part III

Aidilfitri 06 Part II

Aidilfitri 06 Part I

Welcome to Vivo City!

Ibu's 46th

euphoria

follow-up KK appt

mental note

2 A&E visits in less than 1 week!

plain truth

i miss enot!!

berbuka puaser...di rumah sayer...

happy bday to me!

jeng jeng jeng...

surprise!

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

i am 3 yrs old!

e pics, as promised

the fab four unites!

Headspin

si-nga-pore! jia-you!

post-MC plus a dash of reality TV

rojak oh rojak, kenapa engkau rojak?

my wednesday morning...

i dun like hadi

hey, life goes on rite?

a few down, many more to go...i still miss u...

get ur facts rite people!

how to sing 'we are the champions' in italian eh?

1st (bad)impression

delapan hari seminggu

a picture says a thousand words

it hurts...it's very painful...

support local talents!

very good(read: bad) timing

pathetic, i noe.

i love my Nenek!

Rina.....where are u.....

sumtimes cat steven cross e road also

sungguh happy dot com

*tap* ur turn!

Chalet @ Aloha - Monday

Chalet @ Aloha - Tuesday

cry baby cry!

couch(i.e. tilam) potato plus a whole lot of THANX!

i dun wanna lose my house!

all mixed up!

YES AHHHH!!!!

wouldn't it be nice?

Rina....Rina...

because why?

Weekend @ Sentosa

frens? wat frens?

why do u love me?

wat e hell??

American Idol

e (very belated)trip-to-batu-pahat entry

Rina goes to e library n watches Ice Age 2!

i'm in love wif dis song

a mum, a wife, a house owner, a student

XBOX 360 Launch Party!

walking down memory lane...

tap ur turn!